Old Testament: Job 5 & 6
Poetry: Psalm 33
New Testament: John 13
The greatest mystery in the book of Job is not why Job suffers, but why a man crippled by suffering is forced to fight a long, drawn-out theological battle with people who are supposed to be his friends. (Mike Mason, The Gospel According to Job)
Job’s friends start out pretty good. They find out about what’s happening in his life and come from far away with the intent ‘to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.’ After emotional expressions ‘they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.’
Sadly, after such a strong start, they end up kind of being the worst, saying things like:
Should not your piety be your confidence and your blameless ways your hope?
Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
Yikes. The guy just lost everything, his livelihood, every one of his children, and he himself is covered in ‘loathsome sores.’ It seems incredibly insensitive, but honestly, it’s a pretty typical Christian response to suffering.
We often begin by sitting with people in their suffering. But maybe because it’s uncomfortable to stay there, or maybe because we feel an urge to ‘speak truth’ to them, we muck it all up by sermonizing. Like Job’s friends, we think we’re encouraging by offering reasonable answers to their situation.
And the thing is, what they’re saying (what we often say) isn’t necessarily wrong. Job’s friends are quoted in the New Testament. (5:13 is quoted by Paul in 1 Corinthians 3:19 and 5:17 is quoted in Hebrews 12:5). But while it may not be wrong, it is unkind, insensitive, and perhaps mis-applied.
I cringe when I hear a well-meaning believer simply quote scripture to a hurting brother or sister. Sometimes, often times, the most effective thing we can do as a spiritual friend is not to counsel, teach, direct, or judge. The book of Job would be a lot shorter if Job’s friends understood this.
We haven’t gotten to the part yet where God speaks. And that answers the question that most often causes me to open my big yap and offer up my meager two cents… but if I don’t speak truth to them, who will? Um… God, maybe?
How many people have our good intentions hurt?
C.S. Lewis wrote in A Grief Observed,
“Talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don’t understand.”
-Susan Landry
Reflection Questions
- Have you ever been in a time of suffering and someone said or did something you found comforting and helpful? If so, what? (Feel free to leave a comment to share good examples and ideas with us.)
- Pray to be a sensitive and compassionate comforter to those in need.
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