Tag: peer pressure

Who You Walk With

Old Testament: 1 Samuel 23 & 24

*Poetry: Proverbs 13

New Testament: Acts 7

Proverbs 13:20 says, “The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but the one who associates with fools will suffer harm.”

Out of all the proverbs in this chapter, let’s ruminate on this one for a few minutes. The meaning of the proverb is simple enough on the surface: you become wise if you hang out with people who are “wise,” but you will suffer harm or get in trouble if you hang out with “fools.” Nevertheless, the depth of the meaning comes in understanding why the proverb is true, and also the difficulty it poses for actually applying it in our lives. What do I mean? I am saying that the proverb is simple in what it is stating, but the concept behind why what it says is true is very deep and rich.

This proverb touches on a reality of our lives that is so often overlooked or minimized, and that is, how other people can influence and change our behavior. One of the most powerful forces in the formation of human psychology and sociology is peers. The people our age that we spend the most time with are some of the most influential people in our lives. We tend to subconsciously adjust our ways of speaking, acting, and even preferences to align with what others around us are doing and think is “cool.”

The phrase “the one who walks with the wise” is an idiom that describes spending significant time with and to be in close association with a wise person. “Walking” together is a way of saying doing life together. And friends are definitely people that you “do” life with. But it is not just friends that the proverb has in mind, it is specifically a person who is “wise.” Wisdom comes with age, and so if you are relatively young, then a “wise” person is probably much older than you. And while older people might not rank high on the “cool” factor in the eyes of young people, they possess a vast amount of wisdom to young people in comparison.

If your friends exhibit godly speech and conduct in their lives, then that is part of wisdom, and they are exerting a positive influence on you, whether you consciously realize it or not. But if your friends talk behind peoples backs, rebel against authority, use vicious words to tear others down, steal, lie, or any other number of wicked patterns of behavior, then they are a “fool,” and they will likely either rub off on you or pressure you to be more like them (because they will ridicule you if you don’t or just stop hanging out with you because they think you are “lame”).

The apostle Paul mentions this principle in 1 Corinthians 15:33 when he writes, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals.’” His warning expresses the same wisdom as the second line of the proverb. If you associate yourself with “fools” you are bound to get corrupted and become like them. It only takes one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch.

Take a moment to think about if you are spending time with a “bad apple,” and if so, whether you notice how that relationship is negatively affecting you. Because one way or another, it is. If you find yourself thinking that you need more positive influences in your life, then maybe it is time to start walking with someone who is “wise” so that you too can become “wise.”

-Jerry Wierwille

Reflection Questions

  1. How would you honestly describe the people you spend the most time with? Take a moment to think about if you are spending time with someone who is negatively affecting you. What are your options? Which is the best one?
  2. Who do you know who is wiser than yourself? What can you do this week/month to spend more time with that person? Set it up.
  3. How can you be a wise friend to others rather than being a bad influence that leads them (and yourself) to harm?
sgl23bibleplanDownload

Dark Ways

October 2 – Proverbs 2 (& surrounding chapters)

Proverbs 2 12 13 NIV

Let’s continue to look at Proverbs 1-4.  Today we are going to focus in on the sections dealing with avoiding sin and living a righteous life.

Proverbs 1:10-19 issues a warning about hanging out with the wrong crowd.  “My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent.”  (Proverbs 1:10) It is critical to quickly and firmly resist even the smallest temptation.  Immoral people are often not satisfied with just doing bad things on their own, but they will instead often try to persuade others to join in their wrongdoing.  But Proverbs warns, “My son, do not walk in the way with them (sinners).  Keep your feet from their path, For their feet run to evil, And they hasten to shed blood.”  (Proverbs 1:15-16) The wise will not give into negative peer pressure, but they will quickly flee from temptation and those doing wrong.  It is dangerous thinking to believe that you can associate with habitual sinners, but not be affected yourself.  Verses 18 and 19 then explain that those that set out to do evil will ultimately harm themselves.  “But they lie in wait for their own blood; They ambush their own lives.  So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence; It takes away the life of its possessors.”

In chapter two Solomon continues to stress that a wise person will resist evil.

12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,
from men whose words are perverse,
13 who have left the straight paths
to walk in dark ways,
14 who delight in doing wrong
and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,
15 whose paths are crooked
and who are devious in their ways.

However, it is not enough to just avoid sin, but it is important to go beyond that, and treat others with goodness and generosity.

27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
when it is in your power to act.
28 Do not say to your neighbor,
“Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”—
when you already have it with you. (Proverbs 3:27-28)

In chapter four a stark comparison is given between the righteous and the wicked.

18 The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
19 But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble. (Proverbs 4:18-19)

How important to realize that with every choice we make, we are choosing to either live in the light or the darkness.

Then Solomon ends chapter four with some straightforward advice about how to keep choosing to live in the light.

20 My son, pay attention to what I say;
turn your ear to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them
and health to one’s whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
24 Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.

We must read the word of God, not only looking on it, but keeping it in our heart, or following through and acting on it.  We have to guard our heart and mind, always being vigilant of our thoughts, actions and priorities. We must be careful of what we say.  We must keep our eyes focused on God and his plans for our lives.  And finally, we must make sure that we are always moving in the right direction, drawing closer to God, and never turning away from him.

Jill McClain