Old Testament: 1 Samuel 19 & 20
Poetry: Psalm 68
New Testament: Galatians 1
David was successful.
A consummate warrior (1 Sam. 18:7),
a decisive leader (1 Sam. 30:21-25),
handsome enough to make the ladies swoon (1 Sam. 18:20, 25:39-42).
But is that what makes a man successful?
Strong arms, incisive wit, a good frame?
David would never say that those things made him great. I’m not even speaking of the most obvious reason he was successful; clearly that is because he honored the Lord his God, he worshipped God and was a man after God’s heart. The power, wisdom, and beauty of the Lord far outstrip anything David had “naturally”.
Beyond worship, David did not live his life *alone*. It is very Western and American to think of a successful man or woman and assume they succeeded on their own, against all odds, versus the world, pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps. But the world doesn’t work this way.
Success doesn’t work this way.
Faith doesn’t work this way.
David was surrounded by people he admired and who admired him, men who believed in his cause and who would follow him. 1 Chronicles 11 is a list of David’s valiant warriors, his mighty men, thirty guys whose names are immortalized as warriors who went to battle with David as his greatest compatriots.
In our reading today, what we see is the love David had for Jonathan and that Jonathan had for David. In chapter 18, Jonathan loved David as he loved himself, and gave him gifts to prove his love. The entirety of chapter 20 consists in David knowing Saul wants to kill him but wanting proof from Jonathan, and Jonathan learning that his father was murderously insane. Jonathan and David weep when they know they are going to be separated so that David is not killed by Saul in a jealous rage. They weep knowing that they may never meet again in this life.
Jonathan is the example of the proverb: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Prov. 17:17)
David, to be the man God wanted him to be, needed people, especially peers he respected, to push him and to support him. David needed Jonathan.
Jesus chose to surround himself with guys he trusted, even if they were super frustrating (“you little-faiths” is somewhere between an insult and a term of endearment). Jesus loved his disciples. He didn’t start the church as a solo act. Moreover, the disciples needed each other! Jesus didn’t just teach one disciple or 2, but had twelve close disciples/apostles and seventy-two who he sent out to teach in pairs. (Luke 10:1ff)
This message is intended for everyone (boys and girls, men and women), but I want to speak directly to the guys for a second: Fellas, you need someone to support and who supports you, a real friend. It doesn’t need to look like the loving, hugging, (kissing? gross) friendship of David and Jonathan. But in our culture, men are marked by loneliness and without real connections to other guys. Young guys especially are socially disconnected, which leads to pessimistic views about the future. In trying to find communities, we naturally turn to the internet, which can connect us superficially with people who think like us, but also is a place ripe for shallow “personal relationships,” unrealistic para-social relationships, and a possibility for bad actors to try and warp pain and loneliness into anger and resentment.
In other words, we need to go outside, touch grass, and make some real friends. Go to church and talk to people.
David needed it.
Jesus modeled it.
The Disciples lived it.
May you find your Jonathans and Davids soon.
-Jake Ballard
Reflection Questions
- You’ve got a friend in me?: Do you have friends outside of digital spaces? Online friends are nice, but as embodied creatures, the digital cannot substitute for the reality of physical friends who are in the same room, space, worship gathering, concert hall, wherever you and your friends gather. How can you bring your digital friends together in physical spaces? How can you eliminate the nagging, lazy voice of “just stay home tonight” when your friends want to gather together?
- Jesus’s Besties: Jesus, because he is the empowered son of God, could have theoretically, maybe gone through life without friends. However, his life shows us why he wouldn’t want to! Friends were necessary for his movement, and friends gave him joy. Five hundred gathered together after his death, the seventy two were sent by him, and the twelve knew him for three years or more. But closer than that were Jesus’s besties; Peter, James, and John. John himself was probably the disciple whom Jesus loved. More than many friends, do you have deep friendships? Is there anyone you would trust to hear your secrets, with whom you could share doubts, or to whom you could confess? These deep friendships are not quick choices or made overnight, but having them is essential for the kind of success Jesus wants for his disciples.
Seek Grow Love 