Dealing with Disappointment

1 Kings 20-21

In First Kings 21 we find the account of King Ahab in his attempt to gain ownership of a vineyard owned by a man named Naboth.  After the king makes his appeal to Naboth, Naboth declines his offer.  King Ahab’s response is recorded in First Kings 21:4 where it says, “So Ahab went home, sullen and angry because Naboth the Jezreelite had said, ‘I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers.’  He lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat.” 

What a response to the disappointment of not getting what he wanted!  He’s acting like a spoiled toddler.  He doesn’t get his way so he sulks, gets angry, lays on his bed, and refuses to eat.  It’s easy to see why King Ahab is known as one of the evil kings of Israel.  However, might there be something in this account that hits a bit close to home for us as well?

Has there ever been anything in your life that you really wanted and did not get?  How did you respond?  Have you ever played or watched a sport in which you really wanted your team to win but they didn’t?  How did you respond?  Have you ever worked hard and wanted to earn a promotion or a good grade but did not receive what you thought you deserved?  How did you respond?  In any of these situations, or others when you did not get what you wanted, did you sulk or become angry or refuse to eat?

We could certainly look to Jesus and see how he handled disappointments in life.  He weeps over Jerusalem in Matthew 23 but resolutely follows God’s leading to Jerusalem.  He prays God will allow a different path in the Garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26 but resolutely follows God’s leading to the cross.  These are two of many examples in which Jesus affirms that he will follow God, no matter the disappointments he faces.

Another biblical example of appropriate responses to things not going their way is the account of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3.  When threatened with the punishment of being thrown into a fiery furnace if they do not abandon God, they respond by saying that God would rescue them, “But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”  These three were also resolute that even if they did not get their way, they would follow God’s leading.

As we face times of disappointment in our lives, let’s commit to resolutely following God, no matter what.  The encouragement Paul gave in First Thessalonians 5:16-18 would be good encouragement for us in these times as well.  “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  Even when we do not get our way we can choose to be joyful, to pray, and to give thanks.

-Michael Cisler

Reflection Questions

  1. Has there ever been anything in your life that you really wanted and did not get?  How did you respond?  What is your typical response to any sort of disappointment? Why do you think you respond this way?
  2. What could be some underlying thought processes of someone who regularly becomes angry or sullen when faced with disappointment (not getting what they want)?
  3. How can a better response to disappointment be a witness to your faith in God?
  4. What would you like to do next time you meet up with a disappointment?