Tag: adultery

Jesus Teaches About Marriage, Divorce, “Putting Away”, and Hearts

Deuteronomy 9-10

Psalm 26

*Mark 10

-Devotion by Tom Siderius (MI)

Mark 10:2-12(NLT)  Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”3 Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”
4 “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”
5 But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. 6 But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, 8 and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
10 Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. 11 He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”

This incident is also covered in Matthew chapter 19 also where we read:

Matthew 19:3-9(NLT) Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” 5 And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ 6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
7 “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked.
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. 9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”

The subject of divorce and the “putting away of women” in the NT times was complicated depending on the racial and cultural practices of different groups of people present there.  For the Pharisees, who here are trying to trap Jesus in his words, the practice of divorce and remarriage was very common, and was justified by saying that the law of Moses allowed them to “put their wife away”.  This was not necessarily giving her a bill of divorcement which would allow her to remarry which is what the law required. 

Matthew 10:11(NLT) He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”

This “divorce” here is the “putting away”,  not the required bill of divorce required by the law. But rather they would just put the wife away and leave her in a very precarious position culturally.  It was a very tough place for a woman to live and prosper without a man to be with and protect her.  Think of the Samaritan woman at the well and her marriage situation. She had had five husbands, and the man she was with she wasn’t married to.  Jesus doesn’t judge her for this, but rather teaches her the gospel of the kingdom to change her life and those in that village. 

One of the two categories of people that the NT promotes to us for charitable giving is for widows and for orphans.  These persons would be women that had no husband because of death, and children because of death that had no father or parents to care for them.  These are the true recipients of Christian charity we are admonished to care for. 

When the Pharisees decided that their wife did not please them for any reason, they would put the woman into this precarious cultural and economic position.  If she then went with another man, this would make her adulterous and she would be subject to death under the law of Moses.  This would also be true of the husband taking another wife or living with a different woman without divorce. This place of uncertainty that the wife would be in would be the cause of her adultery, not remarriage if she was fully divorced.  Read from Malachi 2 what God says through the prophet Malachi.

Malachi 2:13-17 Here is another thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. 14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.
15 Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. 16 “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
17 You have wearied the LORD with your words. “How have we wearied him?” you ask. You have wearied him by saying that all who do evil are good in the LORD’s sight, and he is pleased with them. You have wearied him by asking, “Where is the God of justice?”

This is a judgment of the hardness of the hearts of the Jews there and in Mark.  This is put on top of a cultural acceptance of almost anything goes sexually for the Romans and Greeks surrounding them.  The Gentiles had a very lax view of fornication, or even incest or homosexuality which was certainly not part of God’s plan for marriage and sexual relationships.  The Pharisees desired to be able to have any woman that they wanted sexually, and found ways to make this seem good and godly. 

Jesus brings us back to the standard set in Malachi 2.  God intends for each to be in a marriage relationship with one man or one woman.  This is set by vows of marriage which are made at the time of our marriage where we promise to be faithful.  Jesus condemns not the woman for what is going on but rather calls out the Jews for the ways they perverted the law and the intent of God for marriage.

The law did give the woman a right for divorce if the husband would not support her and take care of her (Deuteronomy 24:1,3).  It could also be for sexual reasons, either adultery on his part or refusal to be one with her sexually.  Cruelty could also be the grounds for a divorce for the woman and God does not require that anyone in an abusive relationship needs to arbitrarily stay there regardless of actions or words by either side. 

Luke 16:14-15,18 The Pharisees, who dearly loved their money, heard all this and scoffed at him. 15 Then he said to them, “You like to appear righteous in public, but God knows your hearts. What this world honors is detestable in the sight of God…..18 “For example, a man who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery. And anyone who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

The word “divorce” here is the word “putting away” and this is the problem.  If there were true grounds for divorce for the woman or the man, then there should be a “bill of divorcement” given which would not result in adultery by either if they remarried.  The problem is the hardness of hearts which is true until today where easy divorce because of sexual attraction to someone else or simply desire to be single in order to “play the field”, are symptoms of the hardness of hearts which is what God most judges.  He cares about the condition of our thinking and our hearts before him.

God knows the evil that is in the hearts of mankind and desires for us to become like Him and His Son in every way in our lives including our marriages. 

Colossians 3:5(NLT) So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world

Colossians 3:12-14(NLT) Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

Jesus holds the Pharisees to this level of commitment, not the deceit of Malachi 2.  If we want to walk with God, hearing Him and talking to Him, we need to purge our hearts of evil desire, and make the love of God be the standard for our lives.  God knows our weaknesses and lack of godly desire, but forgives us for our sin and gives us fellowship with Him when we seek Him.  Forgive others caught up in the cultural normalcy of divorce and remarriage and welcome the sinner to our fellowship if they are interested in change with God’s help and grace. 

Our standard is the Word of God and the love that Jesus shows us to be the way we are to interact with others. 

Reflection Questions

Does this discussion change your thoughts about marriage and divorce?

What is our moral position for those in the church?

How can we change our hearts to hear the voice of God?

Prayer

Father God help us to give our hearts to You this day.  Thank you for the mercy and grace you have given each of us to make us whole.  We lift our lives, families and marriages to You asking for guidance and help for us to make Godly decisions about all we do.  Father we desire to become like Christ and be able to heal and bless others.  In Jesus’ name we pray this day.

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A Heart that Desires Wisdom

Old Testament: 1 Samuel 11 & 12

*Poetry: Proverbs 7

New Testament: Acts 1

Proverbs 7 is a warning to young men and women about the dangers of sexual desires when they are not pursued properly within God’s intended design, which is within the covenant of marriage. It is written from the viewpoint of a father warning his son about not being enticed by women and drawn away after them. There is an assumption in the text that the young man is marriage, and the warning is about being lured into an adulterous affair with a woman who is not his wife, referred to as the “strange” or “foreign” woman because she is “strange” or “foreign” to his covenant of marriage—she is an outsider.

While this extended speech in Proverbs 7 is aimed at marriage faithfulness and loyalty, its application extends beyond that. Faithfulness and loyalty are not necessary in just a marriage relationship, they are necessary in any relationship, whether it is a family relationship, friendship, or even professional relationship. Anyone will quickly come to learn the importance of faithfulness and loyalty if they betray a relationship and break that bond of trust and commitment. In a family, privileges might be taken away from you. In a friendship, the other person may not confide in you any longer. In a professional relationship, you might lose responsibility, or worse, lose your job entirely.

In Proverbs 7:1-4, the father is telling his son to hold on to his teaching and instruction. The metaphor that he uses is to “bind” them on your fingers,” and “write them on the tablet of your heart.” Furthermore, the son is to treat Wisdom as like a sibling—someone who is part of your family. The purpose for this figurative language is to reinforce the attitude that the son is supposed to have toward Wisdom and living with the fear of Yahweh. Not only that, but the admonition of the father is to also build desire for Wisdom. And the explicit purpose is “in order to keep you from the strange woman, from the foreign woman who flatters with her words” (v. 5).

I think that having a heart that desires Wisdom is vitally important for young people to develop. The world is filled with foolishness, especially in regard to sexuality. It implicitly condones a “do whatever feels good” mindset that is completely opposed to God’s intended way for humans to view sex and to enjoy it. But if a young person doesn’t listen to Wisdom, but follows the ways of the world and allows themselves to be enticed and led astray into sexual passions, they will inevitably suffer and learn the hard way that the world’s way of living is not what produces healthy, loving relationships that lead to the life-long commitment of marriage where sex is intended to be fully explored and enjoyed as God designed for it to be.

-Jerry Wierwille

Reflection Questions

  1. What dangers are warned of in Proverbs 7?
  2. What are some examples of worldly foolishness in the area of sexuality? Why are these problems?
  3. How can you increase your faithfulness and loyalty?
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Be Careful that You Don’t Fall

2 Samuel 11

March 11

The story of David and Bathsheba is probably familiar to most of us.  King David, described elsewhere as a “man after God’s own heart”, had a little too much time on his hands while his army was away fighting.  One evening, he got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of his palace; and from his roof, he saw a beautiful woman taking a bath.  I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:12, “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!”

You might be tempted to stop right there and ask what this beautiful woman was doing taking a bath in public. Wasn’t she inviting unwanted attention? Presumably, she was in her own fenced backyard, and nobody could see her unless someone was on the roof of the palace next door – and who would be walking around on a roof?  Regardless, she isn’t the real topic of the story, David is.

The fact remains that David took a long look at her.  David lusted after her.  David violated one of the 10 commandments: “Don’t covet your neighbor’s wife…”.   Lust is a trap, especially for men – even for a “man after God’s own heart”.  David should have stopped right there, confessed, and asked God for forgiveness.  Instead, he asked one of his servants who she was.  He was definitely showing too much interest.

Once he found out that she was the wife of Uriah, one of his bodyguards, and the granddaughter of Ahithophel, his chief advisor, he certainly should have walked away.  But she was gorgeous, so instead, he invited her over and slept with her.  David violated another of the 10 commandments: “Don’t commit adultery” – and the punishment for this one was supposed to be death.

When David found out that Bathsheba was pregnant, he recalled her husband from the battle so he could go home – to try to hide the fact that David was the father.  But Uriah didn’t cooperate; he didn’t go home.  Ultimately, David then schemed to have Uriah put on the front line of the battle, and have everyone else withdraw, so Uriah was killed.  And so he violated another of the 10 commandments: “Don’t kill”.

David seemed to successfully hide all of this until after the son was born.  But God sent Nathan, the prophet, to confront David.  Nathan told David that God was going to discipline David, according to his sins.  

David wrote Psalm 51 after Nathan confronted him about his adultery with Bathsheba.  In this psalm, we find in verse 1, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion, blot out my transgressions.”  In verses 11-12, “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your Salvation…”  David’s heart was broken, he confessed, and was reconciled to God.

The discipline came a little later.  During Absalom’s rebellion, Absalom slept with 10 of David’s concubines in public;  David’s daughter Tamar was raped by her half brother Amnon; four of David’s sons died: this baby, Amnon, Absolam, and Adonijah; and David had problems for the rest of his life.  God forgave David’s sins, but David still had to live with the consequences of his sins.

God’s discipline isn’t punishment handed out by an angry God bent on vengeance, it’s difficulty allowed by a loving Father who wants to see his children develop godly character.  Otherwise, it would be too easy to just accept and live with sin, and God loves us too much to let that happen without a fight.

This brings us to our application for us today.

Do you consider yourself to be Godly?  If so, “If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!”  If you don’t consider yourself to be Godly, what do you think your long-term future (eternity) looks like?  Isn’t today the best time to solve that problem?

Look at the progression in David’s life.  A glance, lust, adultery, then murder.  Are there places in your own life where you are at that “glance” stage?  The “lust” stage?  Further down the path (to destruction)?  Wherever you find yourself, don’t continue down the path of sin.  Turn around.

Was David’s wild fling worth it?  Absolutely not!  Is the pleasure of your sins worth it?  It never is!  I’m reminded of Hebrews 11:25-26, where we’re told that Moses “chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time… because he was looking ahead to his reward.”  Are you strong enough to forgo “the pleasures of sin for a short time” and instead look ahead to your reward?  If not, ask God to help you.

And when you do sin, don’t just try to hide it.  Remember 1 John 1:9, where God promises, “If we confess our sins, he [God] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  It was only after David’s confession that he was reconciled with God.  The same is true for us.

You may be tempted in similar ways as David, or you may be tempted in other ways, but you will be tempted.  1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

-Steve Mattison

Questions for Reflection and Discussion

  1. In your own experience, have you ever observed (or are currently in) the downward spiral of sin where one sin leads to another? Where would have been the best place to stop? How? How do you turn around now – look at David’s example (Psalm 51 is a beautiful place to start).
  2. To avoid the painful and long lasting consequences of sin in your own life how can you build your resolve to forego the “pleasures of sin” which last a short time? What can you do now to help yourself stand strong when you are tempted? What can you do when you are right in the the middle of a strong temptation? How can you help others stand firm against their temptations?
  3. Like David, sometimes we need our sin pointed out to us before we reach a point of confession. Read 2 Samuel 12. Have you ever needed a Nathan to help you see your own sin? Pray to see your own sin clearly. Then confess it. Have you thanked those who have helped you see your sin. Then, as David said in Psalm 51 – with a pure heart he could, “Then…teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.”

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What Do You Owe?

Proverbs 6

Proverbs 6 23 NIV

This chapter can be broken into two sections.  The first section is about how we deal with situations where we owe something to someone.  Some of you may be thinking that you don’t owe anything to anyone, and you have not offered a security for what someone else owes, so this doesn’t apply to you.  That is good, but remember it is unlikely you will go through life without owing anything, so be prepared.

So, how do we deal with owing someone?  Verses 3 and 4 say:

So do this, my son, to free yourself,
since you have fallen into your neighbor’s hands:
Go—to the point of exhaustion—
and give your neighbor no rest!
4 Allow no sleep to your eyes,
no slumber to your eyelids.

 

We need to work hard to free ourselves.  We need to repay what we owe as quickly as possible.  We also need to repay this through honest measures.  Verses 16-19 talk about this:

 

There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
17         haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
18         a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19         a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

These verses by themselves are good wisdom, but don’t seem to have anything to do with owing someone.  However, in the context of working hard to repay what we owe, it could be tempting to scheme, or cheat our way out of what we owe.  Doing this would cause us to do at least one of the things God hates.  So, when we owe anything, we need to take responsibility for it , and work hard and honestly to pay it back as quickly as possible.

The chapter then transitions to talking about adultery.  This seems to be an abrupt transition to me, and I thought about that for a while.  Then, I thought of the 10 commandments, and specifically Exodus 20:17:

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

So, both parts of this really come back to wanting what we don’t have.  We borrow to get what we don’t have, and adultery comes from wanting what we don’t have.

Acting on either of these will cause us trouble, but the problems caused by adultery will be much greater.  Verses 30-33 show this:

People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.
31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
32 But a man who commits adultery has no sense;
whoever does so destroys himself.
33 Blows and disgrace are his lot,
and his shame will never be wiped away.

 

I think the chapter really shows the perils of not being content with what we have.   We can be content with everything we have in live because God is always with us as stated in Hebrews 13:5:

5 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”

 

Andrew Hamilton

Divorce

Mark 10

Mark 10 8b

There are many things that man has come up with that God really didn’t create us to do. The Pharisees loved to bring the complicated subjects up to Jesus and see what he said. They were always comparing his teachings to the teachings of Moses. So the Pharisees go to Jesus and start discussing divorce. Jesus says for them to go ahead and tell him what Moses commanded.  They say that Moses said it was okay “to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” Jesus admits that this is true, but reminds them that the Hebrews Moses was dealing with were a rebellious and ungrateful people. This was not the best way. In the beginning God wanted man and woman to “become one flesh” and stay that way. In Mark 10:9 Jesus says “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Jesus’ disciples wanted to make absolutely sure that they understood Jesus on this subject. So later they bring it up again. In verses 11 and 12 Jesus says, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.” They knew without a doubt that adultery is wrong. It’s one of the ten commandments. “You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14

We might ask “Why is this so?” Ultimately we have to trust that God knows what is best and wants what’s best for us. We can look at divorce in our society and see some of the ramifications of it and see for ourselves that it’s hard on families. Does God want us to be happy? Without a doubt, YES! Read Psalm 37:3-5 God wants to give us the desires of our hearts. We need to trust Him, be committed to Him and His ways, and do good.  Our Father will take care of the rest.

Melissa New

 

 

Don’t give in to Temptation! – Prov. 5

Proverbs-5.21.png

Hello, Everyone! I hope your week has gone well; can you believe it is Friday already?!

Today’s passage is Proverbs, chapter 5. This chapter is about one topic, and this topic is a piece of wisdom in itself. Again, thank you for joining us today, and I encourage you to go ahead a read this chapter on your own as well.

Proverbs 5, is full of warnings; warnings against disobeying, warnings about temptation, warnings about not realizing the good of what you have already been given.

The beginning of chapter five, tells us to listen and heed the wisdom being given. Verses 1-3 “My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil.” This specific example speaks about giving in to adultery, however, it can be applied to any temptation we have. At any point in your life, someone might not have your best interest in mind, and they are only seeking to please themselves, and they might drag them down with you if you let them. This is later depicted in verses 11-14: “At the end of your life, you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent. You will say, ‘How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors. And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God’s people.” The person who gave in to their temptation later realize their mistake, and they regret that they did not listen to what many were trying to tell them.

The end of this chapter reads, “Why, my son be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all your paths. The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast. For lack of discipline, they will die, led astray by their own great folly.” Proverbs 5:20-23

While these verses specifically talk about adultery, it can be applied to many other temptations in our lives. Why would we envy something someone else has when we have our own house, or our own life, our own family, our own job? God gives us what we need, and sometimes what we want, especially if both align with his will for us. Our God is an awesome God, who loves us so much, that he sent his only son to die for us, that we might live with him, forever. He knows our every need, he knows our every desire, and he likes to give gifts to those who are faithful.

We should not give in to temptations set in front of us because God can and does give us so much more. We should listen to the wisdom our elders, parents, friends, and peers give us because so often God has placed them in our lives to be a part of our journey.

Thank you for reading today, and I hope you have a great rest of your day and a great weekend. Don’t forget to memorize the verse this week, Proverbs 3:5-6. & Check in with us tomorrow for the last post this week.

~ Jana Swanson