Tag: forgiving

“Karen”

Old Testament: Judges 8 & 9

Poetry: Psalm 55

New Testament: 1 Corinthians 13:5

            Happy hump day! We’re here in the middle of the work/school week.  Are you tired of hearing about love yet?  Like that TV advertising guy used to say: “But wait! There’s more.”

Sometimes, the best way to learn about what something is is to consider its opposite.

In verse 5 Paul gives three more examples of what love is NOT.:[Love] does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

            For the past almost 40 years, I have lived with the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful woman.  This woman has patiently served alongside me as a pastor’s wife in places far from her family and friends.  She even let me drag her halfway across the world to England to start a church with a toddler in tow and she was “great with child” as in, about to pop. She has been a great wife to me and a mom to our 11 children.

            I love her more than anything on the planet and her name is Karen.  Sadly, the name Karen has, in recent years come to be associated with a certain kind of middle-aged woman who is, shall we say a bit entitled, difficult to please, and hard to get along with.  The woman who “asks to speak to the manager” is referred to as a “Karen”.  I like to tell people “My wife is named Karen but she is not a Karen.”

            Why do “Karens” cause endless eye rolls?  Because they are very insistent on getting their way, they tend to be easily irritated by normal human flaws and frustrating situations,  and they carry resentment towards those who upset them, they are not quick to forgive and give people a second chance.

            If the Apostle Paul was writing to today’s Christians he could simply say “Don’t be a Karen” and would easily get his point across.  Instead, Paul might say be an Annabelle, which means “loving” or for a male be an Amadeus, which means “love of God.” (Although for many Annabelle was ruined by the horror movie franchise bearing that name.  For older people like me the name Amadeus was ruined by the movie about Mozart- a talented musician and horrible person).

            Instead of being a Karen who insists on having her way, be an Annabelle who, as Paul says in Philippians 2:3 learns to “value others above yourselves.”  Instead of being a Karen who is irritable or easily angered be an Amadeus who is “slow to speak and slow to anger.” (James 1:19). Instead of being a Karen who is resentful, be a person who practices forgiving “70 times 7” as Jesus taught. (Matthew 18:22).

            By now you might be wondering, does Paul want me to become like, a whole different person by doing all these practical, loving things?  Paul wants us to allow the one perfectly loving person, Jesus, to radically take over our lives.  To be so full of God’s spirit and love that “to live is Christ.”

Pastor Jeff Fletcher

Reflection Questions

  1.  Can you think of a time when you were around a “Karen”?  How did that make you feel?
  2. Can you think of a time when you acted like a “Karen”? How do you think it impacted others?
  3. What are concrete ways that you can show love by valuing others above yourself?
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Children of God – Forgive

ephesians 4 32

Happy Friday! I am ready for the weekend, how about you? It has been a long week for me, mostly all good things, just incredibly busy and each of my daycare kids have been extremely busy too, making for some difficult days. This week had more meltdowns than usual, and some new behavior issues popping up, but in that I was seeing something that amazed me every single day. The forgiveness that many children have, and are willing to freely give to those around them. In my classroom, when a child does something that bothers, or harms another child, they must apologize. We do not force the child who was wronged to forgive them, we say that they can acknowledge the apology by saying thank you, and they can talk about how the two of them may move forward from the outburst. More often than not though, the children will say, “It’s okay, I forgive you.” Then they will offer a hug, and continue playing, as if nothing ever happened.


This is an act that always makes me wonder why it becomes harder for us to let go of grudges when we get older, or why it is so much harder for us to move on from something that someone has done to us, even if they have sincerely offered up their apology. These children will hit, or take a toy, or scream at their friend, and then apologies happen, and forgiveness comes to them easily and naturally.  Their forgiveness seems to be endless, then they quickly move on from the issue. When did we lose this focus? When did many of us decide that holding grudges is something better than letting go? I think many of us should take a step back and think about how it would feel for us to let something go, and give forgiveness and pray for those that harm us. The world around us might be a little different if we shifted our mentalities.


Some verses today about forgiving:


Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.’”


Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”


Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”


1 Peter 3:9 “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”


All of these verses talk about needing to be able to forgive those, because God has forgiven us. We can again look to children to see what their example is. There are definitely times when children will hold grudges against those that have wronged them, however it is often that children are extremely quick to forgive their friends, neighbors, teachers, siblings, parents, etc. Jesus tells us to be more like the little children, and this week we have been covering the different aspects of allowing our faith to become more child-like and the different components that entails. Listening, trusting, seeking comfort, loving, learning, and today is forgiving like a child.


Today I challenge you to forgive someone who wrongs you; let go of the hurt that they may have intentionally or unintentionally inflicted upon you. Remember that we are all sinners and God forgives us for our sins against him, over and over, and so we should forgive those around us. Try to be more like the children, and move on quickly from a dispute that is not constructive to either party involved, and seek first God and a relationship with him and his son Jesus.


A song for today is “Forgiveness” by Matthew West. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Lu5udXEZI


~Jana Swanson

Matthew West – Forgiveness (Lyrics)