Tag: shame

Without Shame

Genesis 2, Proverbs 2, Matthew 1

Devotion by Aaron Winner (SC)

Visit any home with young children after bath time, and you’ll quickly understand that it is not uncommon to see a child streaking through the living room with nothing but a grin. Our children still live in a stage of innocence, and while their word “nakey” simply defines a lack of clothing, it carries none of the weight or connotations that often accompany the word naked. While comfort levels with wearing one’s birthday suit vary widely, physical exposure is usually reserved for environments of trust and intimacy.

Adam and Eve stood before one another in the Garden of Eden in such a state. Without shame, they walked fig-leafless as they tended to their calling as caretakers of creation. Their nakedness reinforced intimacy within marriage, but it also revealed something deeper. They stood before their heavenly Father “nakey” as well. As with childhood innocence, the absence of sin allowed exposure without fear. This openness demonstrated not only their relationship with one another, but also their unguarded connection with their Creator.

So, to have meaningful relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ, should we band together to form a nudist colony? Please, no. But in a far more important spiritual sense, we are invited into this level of intimacy. God forms relationship with us through His presence as He moves alongside us while we tend His world—speaking truth, laboring together, and allowing Him to shape us through shared faith and testimony.

Narrowing our focus further to our nuclear families and closest friends, we are called to be even more personal and exposed, not performative or guarded in appearance. Whether we look at the forming of the first family, the father-to-son instruction in Proverbs, or the genealogy in Matthew, each offers examples (and warnings) of how trust, proximity, and intentional teaching shape the spiritual life of a household. Today is as good a day as any to check in on someone within this circle, or to seek them out, so that we might better know one another and, together, better know our Heavenly Father.

“For the upright will live in the land, and the blameless will remain in it.” Proverbs 2:21

With the propitiation of sin through Jesus Christ, we can now be presented before God without shame. The promise remains the same: the blameless will remain in the land – A perfect, promised one to come, which makes me scratch my head and wonder, “Will our resurrected bodies be ‘nakey’?” I know we will be wearing smiles—and we will have to see about the rest. But even now, we are invited to live and walk with one another in a spiritual closeness that reflects what was once lost and is now being restored. And in that place, we may once again find ourselves standing without shame.

Reflection Questions

  1. What do you imagine life was like for Adam and Eve before sin entered? What do you imagine it was like for God? What changes took place with the first sin?
  2. What do you feel shame about? Why? What does God want for us when we feel shame? How can shame be overcome?
  3. What are your thoughts when you read Proverbs 2:21?
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Guilt and Shame

Psalm 51

Sunday, July 10, 2022  

Do you remember the first time you disobeyed your parents or did something that you knew was wrong?  Chances are you felt guilty and ashamed.  Those are two different things. 

Let’s imagine that your Mom made fresh chocolate chip cookies.  After they cooled a bit she gave you two cookies and a glass of cold milk.  It was delicious!  Then, after she wiped the excess chocolate off of your hands and chin and nose she put the rest of the cookies in the cookie jar and she told you, “The rest of the cookies are for your Sunday School Class.  There’s enough for each person to have 2 cookies, but don’t you take any more or there won’t be enough.”  She goes about her activities, but all you can think about is the cookies.  They were so delicious and you’d like to have some more, but your Mom said “no more”.  When Mom’s not looking you go and grab another cookie and shove it down your throat as fast as you can before she sees.  You go back to coloring.  Your mom comes back in the room, looks at your face and says, “did you eat another cookie after I told you not to?”  You say “no, mommy”.  Then she asks “then why is there chocolate all over you face and fingers again?”

You’ve been busted.  If you’re like most people you’re feeling two things: guilt and shame.  You feel guilty because you did something wrong, you disobeyed your mom and stole the cookies after she told you not to and then you lied to her about it.  You also may feel shame.  “I’m a bad boy or a bad girl, I never listen to mommy, mommy’s going to hate me now and when the kids in my class hear what I did they’re gonna hate me too, and so will my teacher and so will the pastor when he finds out, and maybe even God will hate me.”

When we feel guilt we feel bad about something we have done (or sometimes what we didn’t do that we should have.)  When we feel shame we feel that there is something wrong with us.   I’m broken, I’m damaged, I’m bad, I’m evil.  Guilt and shame are both powerful and shattering emotions.  Is there any remedy for them?

Psalm 51 was written by King David.  I recently attended a musical about David at the Sight and Sound Theater.  It showed David’s life from the time he was a little shepherd boy until his death as King of Israel.  David was a great man, a man after God’s own heart.  Most of the Psalms in the Bible were written by David.  David killed the giant Philistine Goliath with stones and a sling.  David was good, but he was not perfect.  One of the worst things David ever did was commit adultery with his neighbor’s wife while his neighbor was off fighting in battle in David’s army.  David got his neighbor’ wife pregnant and then tried to cover up his sin.  In trying to cover up one sin David committed an even greater sin and had her innocent husband killed in battle.  It was an act of great treachery.  David succeeded in covering up  his sin so that no one else (he thought)  knew about it and then he took his neighbor’s wife to be his own.

David was later confronted by the prophet Nathan who revealed  his sinful act.  But even before his sin was revealed, David was not at peace.  His heart was mired in guilt and shame.  In the midst of his guilt and shame David cried out to God to be set free.  Psalm 51 is one of the prayers he prayed to God.  Take time to read through Psalm 51.  Imagine this powerful king in anguish before God.  He is so overcome by guilt and shame, that he had sinned and that he was a sinner, a wretched, broken man.  What David feared most was being alienated from God, from the joy of knowing God’s saving love and the power of having God’s spirit.

David knows that if he can be set free from his feelings of guilt and shame, the joy of God will come back to him and he will be able to powerfully declare God’s grace and mercy to other people who are also trapped in their guilt and shame.

Lots of people today are trapped in guilt for what they have done and shame for who they are.  So much of the evil we see going on in our world every day is born out of people trying to escape the bad feelings of guilt and shame. Rising rates of suicide and deaths from opioids, increased murder and sexual violence, the rage and confusion that so many feel all can be traced to feelings of guilt and shame and attempts to cover up or self-medicate the pain away. 

There is a better way.  David knew that true healing for his guilt and feelings of shame would only come from God.  Only God could bring real joy to His heart.  The same is true for all of us.  Jesus, who was both David’s descendant and the true son of God provides the only lasting solution to guilt and shame.  When Jesus went onto the cross he took upon himself the burden of our guilt for sins we committed and our feelings of worthlessness for having committed those sins.  In their place we are forgiven of those sins and discover our true identities, we are also children of God made in God’s image.

I John 1:8-9 says: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Chances are, after you told your Mom that you really did eat the cookie and said that you were sorry, she wiped your face, gave you a big hug and said “I love you, don’t do it again” and you felt a lot better.  Love covers over a multitude of sins.

-Jeff Fletcher

Reflection Questions:

  1.  Which do you find more painful- Guilt- I did something wrong, or Shame-There’s something wrong with me, I’m worthless?
  2. What are some of the ways we try to hide our guilt and shame?  Why do they often make things even worse?
  3. Is there still some guilt and shame hiding in your heart?  What is preventing you from going to God, confessing it to him and letting  him clean you up and give you a hug?
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Turning Shame into Honor

Matthew 27

Matthew 27 29b-31

After Jesus had been sentenced, flogged and mocked, He was hung up on a cross with a sign hanging over His head, reading, “This is Jesus, the King of the Jews.” This sign was another attempt to show contempt for Jesus. The sign mocks His name and labels him a heretical blasphemer. Yet in this attempt at mockery, there was truth. Jesus will return as King of the Jews and all those who followed Him. God took the shame that the Jews who crucified Jesus tried to cast upon Him and turned it into Honor for Jesus.

God constantly takes our shame and turns it into honor. In our current society, it is common to be called names for living a righteous and biblical lifestyle. Many will call you a prude, a goody two shoes, a tryhard. Their goal is to tear you down in the eyes of the world, to paint you as one who sits on an imaginary throne of righteous living and looks down on the world to condescend. This mockery is your honor. It is a testament to the effort that you put in to live as you have been called. Continue to wear your breastplate of righteousness and endure the mockery, and have your shamed turned into your honor.

-Nathaniel Johnson

United in Hope

john 3 17

I remember learning in a college psychology class that the two emotions most commonly selected by people meeting the criteria for clinical depression are guilt and shame. I saw the list that was given out in the assessment, and it included lots of others that I thought might have topped the list. Ones like grief, anger, fear, sadness, despondence, loneliness, rejection, etc. But, the two that were the most common consistently were guilt and shame. At the time I was a little surprised by that just because there were so many choices and they all seemed so “depressing”, but as the years go by, I am more surprised that I was surprised.

That is because guilt and shame are crippling and powerful negative emotions that we all experience. In definition, guilt and shame are a bit separated in the sense that guilt refers to the feeling associated with our behavior while shame is associated with a negative feeling of ourselves. Sin causes both. Because we all sin, we all experience the devastation of both emotions. And in a world where we find ourselves with divisions of race, socioeconomic class, culture, language,  and background. . . let it be known. . .we all experience guilt and shame because we are all guilty and shameful. If there is one thing uniting us all, it is that we are all intrinsically unworthy desperately in need of a savior. There aren’t those who are “really guilty” and those who are a “little guilty”. And even if that were the case, I think I’d want to be the former because in human reasoning, that is where the “man after God’s own heart” falls, and I believe those who recognize their unworthiness also recognize their need for God more. The human race is made up of innately sinful people completely unrighteous and unworthy constantly falling short of our perfect sovereign God.

“As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10, NIV)

“The LORD looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. All have turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one. (Psalm 14:2-3)

But, long before our existence God knew this and had an eternal plan. A plan to send a savior, His begotten son, Jesus.  So, while we experience that guilt and shame, we are also able to experience mercy, forgiveness, and hope. His desire is not to condemn us because of our guilt, but to save us from it. We feel shame because we don’t deserve that love and favor, but despite how we feel about it, it is there for the taking. Always. Again and again.

“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved”  (John 3:17, NIV)

“For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21, NIV)

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9, NIV)

Just as we are united in the sense that we all sin and experience guilt and shame, we are also able to share forgiveness and hope together. We all have the opportunity to be forgiven by God, but not so we can “feel better”. . . so we can glorify Him. One of the most beautiful ways to do that is to forgive others. Who doesn’t love the story of the Prodigal Son? So, may we seek to live with the mercy of the father and not with the bitterness and pride of the brother. The inheritance that matters is our shared one. And part of loving our giver is sharing the gift with others.  It is worth returning for. It is worth staying for. It is worth learning about. And it alone is the lasting source of hope.

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” (Revelation 21: 1-4, NASV)

 

–Jennifer Hall

How Do You Handle Things?

Jeremiah 9-11

jeremiah-9_24

Wednesday, March 1

Chapter 9 is moping about how things are. Jeremiah 9:12 And who is he to whom the mouth of the Lord has spoken, that he may declare it? Why is the land ruined, laid waste like a desert, so that no one passes through?

Chapter 10 is about recognition that they were wrong. Jeremiah 10:23 

Chapter 11 How do you handle being wrong? What do you do when you hurt someone?  This chapter is about their covenant being broken and the plot to hurt Jeremiah.

The question for these chapters should be how do you handle things?

For many its lying, anger, resentment and shame.  But God has been very clear in spite of how we act, He will not break His covenant.  How you handle that is the real question.

-Andy Cisneros

The Choice is Yours: Honor or Shame (I Samuel 25-27)

Sunday, October 16

prov-3-3-pic

By Nathaniel Johnson

When we read the story of Abigail and Nabal, it should be obvious that Abigail is our good example and Nabal is our bad example. Nabal’s first mistake was insulting David. When he said “Who is this David,” he didn’t mean that he didn’t know who David was. After all, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7). Of course Nabal knew who David was, but he chose to be rude and disregard the help that David had given him throughout his life. Nabal’s second mistake was his greed. Even though he owned thousands of animals, he couldn’t spare any food out of his wealth for David’s men.

Abigail on the other hand, dealt with the situation that her husband created with wisdom. Abigail goes through a series of five steps that we all should follow to act with wisdom. First, she recognized that David was a holy man, a man of God (Proverbs 9:10). Then she took steps to avoid bloodshed (Proverbs 14:16). That is, she gathered food for David’s men. When she set out to find David, she didn’t tell her husband Nabal. She decided to keep the matter quiet until it was resolved (Proverbs 29:11). Once she got to David, she offered her gift and held nothing back (Proverbs 10:5). After she had taken all of these wise actions, she was rewarded by David and was taken in as his wife. “The wise shall inherit honor, but fools he holds up to shame” (Proverbs 3:35). If we act with the same wisdom as Abigail, we too will receive honor. But if we act rash, rude and selfish, we will get nothing but shame.

(Our writer this week is Nathaniel Johnson.  Thank you to Nathaniel and to Kayla Tullis who introduces Nathaniel for us.  Kayla writes: “Nathaniel Johnson, a 20-year-old born and raised in Minnesota, is currently a student at St. Scholastica with the ambition of one day teaching mathematics. Nathaniel has been a member of Pine Grove Bible Church for years. You may recognize him during worship services playing the bass guitar. He enjoys the outdoors, Nordic skiing, anime and much more. Nathaniel has a heart for God and is looking forward to growing with you each day through the FUEL devotions.”)