Lose-Win

whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me

Yesterday, we talked about Jesus’ procedure of dealing with sin inside of the Church, but what are you supposed to do when someone who never claimed to be a Christian sins against you? Jesus’ answer to that question may surprise you. Have you ever heard of a win-win conflict resolution approach? Well, Jesus’ approach is more of a lose-win. As followers of Christ, we give up our right to hurt people who hurt us. Instead, Jesus calls us to treat each conflict as an opportunity for grace—an opportunity to show God’s love to someone who has maybe never experienced it.

In Matthew 5:38-42, Jesus describes his upside-down approach to dealing with conflict, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

Jesus defies logic, saying that if someone mistreats you, give them grace, but Jesus doesn’t just talk about grace, he embodies it. The outcasts, the troublemakers, and the “rough around the edges” are the people we often ignore or set aside, but these were the kinds of people Jesus spent his time on earth interacting with. These were the kinds of people Jesus died for. These were the kinds of people we were before we were adopted into God’s love. Just as grace transformed you, grace can transform the people who hurt you.

If we want to be a reflection of God’s love in the midst of conflict, we must first trade in our pride, our need for justice, revenge, or being right, for humility. In Matthew 16:24-25, Jesus says to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”

Today, be intentional about being love to someone who may have never truly experienced how intense and whole God’s love is. If someone hurts you, give them more grace than they know what to do with. They don’t deserve grace, but neither did we.

 

-Mackenzie McClain

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