-Devotion by Melissa New (AR)
Absalom is dead, but David is not celebrating.
The rebellion has been stopped. The army has won. David’s throne has been preserved. But the king is weeping over the son who tried to take his kingdom from him.
“O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Samuel 19:4)
To Joab and the army, Absalom was a traitor. He had stolen the hearts of the people, taken Jerusalem, and forced David to flee for his life. He was dangerous and his rebellion had to be stopped. But David did not see Absalom only as a rebel. He saw him as his son.
We cannot say exactly what was in David’s mind, but we do know what was in David’s past. In 2 Samuel 12, Nathan had told David that his sin with Bathsheba and Uriah would bring consequences into his house. The sword would not depart from his house, calamity would come out of his own household, his wives would be given to someone close to him in broad daylight, and the child born to Bathsheba would die.
David repented and was forgiven. Nathan told him plainly, “The LORD has taken away your sin.” But forgiveness didn’t mean that every consequence disappeared.
By 2 Samuel 19, David is mourning the death of another son. The child born to Bathsheba had died. Amnon had been murdered by his brother, Absalom. Now Absalom has been killed by Joab. (Later, Adonijah would also die during the struggle surrounding Solomon’s throne.) The calamity in David’s household was no longer a warning. It had become a painful reality.
David had replied to the prophet Nathan’s parable that the guilty man should pay “four times over.” Whether we count the consequences by Nathan’s words or by the sons David lost, the shadow over David’s house is hard to miss. This is what makes David’s grief so complicated. He was not just grieving a son. He was grieving as a father, as a king, and as a man who knew that his own sin helped bring sorrow into his house.
David had already shown a humbled spirit when he fled Jerusalem. When Zadok brought the ark of God, David sent it back. He would not presume that God would go with him. Then Shimei came out cursing him and throwing stones. Abishai wanted to kill him, but David stopped him. David wondered if perhaps the Lord had allowed even that humiliation.
This is not the attitude of a man who thinks he has done nothing wrong. David knows he has been forgiven, but he also knows he is living in the wreckage of his own failure. Can we relate to this struggle?
We believe God forgives sin. We believe the blood of Christ is enough. We believe God removes guilt from the repentant heart. But what happens when the consequences remain?
What happens when the relationship is still damaged?
What happens when the trust is still broken?
What happens when the family still feels the effects?
What happens when we are forgiven before God, but still have to walk through the results of what we did?
Sometimes guilt and grief can make us passive. We do not know when to speak, when to act, when to defend ourselves, or when to accept the humiliation. David seems almost frozen at times. He wants Absalom spared. He mourns so deeply that the men who saved him feel ashamed. He forgives Shimei. He appoints Amasa, the commander of Absalom’s army, over his own army. He is trying to heal the kingdom, but everything is still unstable and such a mess.
There is humility and mercy in David, but there is also hesitation.
Joab saw the danger in David sitting too long in his grief and hesitation. He was a man of action who saw a threat and dealt with it quickly. He killed Absalom even though David didn’t want this to happen. He murdered his cousin Amasa after Amasa delayed in gathering the army against Sheba’s rebellion. Then he took charge of David’s army and pursued Sheba until the rebellion was crushed. Joab may have helped preserve David’s kingdom, but he did it with blood on his hands. And because he was David’s nephew, Joab’s violence was another painful reminder that this trouble, too, was coming from close to home.
David and Joab show two different dangers. David’s guilt and grief made it hard for him to act decisively.
Joab had no such hesitation, but his boldness was not always righteous. One man hesitated under the weight of sorrow. The other pushed forward without enough fear of God.
Forgiveness does not mean we will always know exactly how to act when consequences stand in front of us. Sometimes we will feel humbled. Sometimes ashamed. Sometimes unsure whether to speak or stay silent. Sometimes we will want to fix everything quickly, but the damage will take longer than we hoped.
When the consequences of sin remain, we still have to do the next right thing. We humble ourselves. We accept what God allows. We make peace where peace can be made. We lead where we are called to lead. We refuse revenge. We refuse despair. We refuse to believe that because the storm is still blowing, God is no longer with us. And even while we are grieving, we keep moving.
David had once prayed in Psalm 57:1, “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.” That psalm came from another season of trouble, but the words fit David’s life here too. He needed mercy while the storm was still raging. He needed God while the consequences were still unfolding.
And so do we.
Reflection Questions
Do shame and guilt sometimes grip your heart and make it hard for you to know what to do?
Do you feel lost to the consequences of sin and like an outsider watching your life with no power to control it?
Does grief keep you frozen and feeling unable to act as a faithful follower of God?
If so, these are all feelings that David probably experienced too. Most likely, many Christians feel this way at times. David is a great example for us because no matter how bad things got for him, he always put his trust in God. He shows us how to turn our focus from ourselves back to the God who loves us. David said, “Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.” Psalm 57:11
Prayer
Dear Great & Mighty God of Mercy and Justice – help me to fear You, and love and adore You to keep me from evil and serve You well. When I fail You, thank You for Your forgiveness. In humility, help me seek to do the next right thing and trust You more and more.
Seek Grow Love 