Tag: depression

Coming to Terms

psalm 91 1

One of the most difficult ordeals that came with my spiritual depression was to look it head on, call it what it was, and start to try moving past it. For me, I had to come running back to God, and tell him that I was angry because I felt He took my grandpa away before many of my life experiences I wanted to share with him. It is just the first step to getting better though. The next few steps require you to find what your passions are after feeling that you haven’t been yourself in quite some time, and where who you’ve been and who you are intertwine. Then, listen to God to see what He has in store for you to do next.

Job 10: 1-2 (HCSB): “I am disgusted with my life. I will express my complaint and speak in the bitterness of my soul. I will say to God: ‘Do not declare me guilty! Let me know why you prosecute me.’”

Job speaks candidly to God throughout the rest of chapter 10 saying that he knows himself to be blameless in the eyes of God, and wants to know why there is no deliverance from the trial he is facing. We witness Job go through this whole trial because God has faith in Job, that Job will be faithful to Him through it all. There are times in this life when we face circumstances that aren’t brought about by our own actions. They can be side effects from this world being a wicked place because this is not the Kingdom of God, or because we are being tested. In Psalm 91, we see the ways YHWH protects us, but it is conditional. The two key conditions are we must love God, and the other is to call upon Him. Psalm 91: 15 (NASB): “He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him, and honor him.”

Psalm 91 doesn’t seem like a chapter that works well in correlation to Job, but I find it is rather fitting. Job 2: 4-6 shows that God set conditions while allowing Satan to test Job. God was with Job the entire time through the trial and tribulation. God answered Job, but not immediately after every question Job brought forth. Last, but not least, God did rescue Job in His time, and honored him for his faithfulness. Today, I challenge you all to reflect upon some of the difficult times in your life, and how God came through for you in a way that left you in awe.

A song suggestion for today is “Who I am Hates Who I’ve Been” by Relient K. If the regular instrumentation form of this song is too much for you to handle, there is also an acoustic version that should be more suitable for your preference.

Regular song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HeuMiuj_Sg

Acoustic Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS6Y3hf57KY

 

-Andrew Cheatwood

Lament

job 3 24

In the mid to late 2000s, I started to fall in love with music of all genres. My favorite bands at the time were artists that are Christians. In 2008, that began to start changing with my depression. I started relating to lyrics that were more downtrodden because I related to the writers of those songs. That search for understanding started out in a place of lamenting the loss of my grandfather, and the need for comfort. Throughout time though, some of the secular music I related to came from a place of seeking pity rather than a place of lament because there is a fine line between the two that is easy to cross. One song that I never got into, but you will hear in grocery stores nowadays that epitomizes pity rather than lament is “Welcome to My Life” by Simple Plan. The lyrics are meant to relate with others and trying to make others understand how the writer feels, but it comes out as a song that isolates the listeners and the writer. The chorus of the song goes like this: “No you don’t know what it’s like/ when nothing feels alright/ you don’t know what it’s like to be me/ to be hurt, to be lost/ to be left out in the dark/ to be kicked when you’re down/ to feel like you’ve been pushed around/ to be on the edge of breaking down/ and no one’s there to save/ No,you don’t know what it’s like/ Welcome to my life”

Those lyrics aren’t a cry for help, those are lyrics of someone wanting pity making it look like they’re crying for help. They’ve dug themselves so deeply into the rut of depression and the isolation it encourages, that the writer’s want for help is locked away in the back of their mind. I have brought forth this example because I want to show that there is a good way to lament, even if it seems melodramatic to some. The verses I want to look at today is Job 3. The title this chapter was given is Job’s Lament. Job 3: 1-16 are all verses where Job is proclaiming that his life would have been simpler and less painful if he was never born at all. He is correct saying this, and he is saying in mourning the pain and suffering he has endured. Job uses these verses to express the pain he is experiencing to Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar; men he considers friends. He beseeches them for empathy or sympathy during the most difficult time in his life recorded in Scripture. Instead, they try to ravage his character saying that surely he did something wrong. We know these accusations are false because of Job 1:1.

 

Job 3: 20-22 (NASB): “Why is light given to him who suffers, and life to the bitter of soul; Who long for death, but there is none, and dig for it more than for hidden treasures; who rejoice greatly, they exult when they find the grave?”

Verse 20 is a parallelism where he is asking God why people who suffer are given life. He continues into verse 21 saying that those people from verse 20 seek out death more than hidden treasures. You can either take hidden treasures literally, or some people say that if you look at Proverbs 2:4 that the hidden treasure is wisdom. So the verse could be taken as someone seeking out death more than treasure, or seeking out death more than wisdom. Just food for thought. Verse 22 Job leads me to believe that the context of verse 21 describes someone seeking out death more than wisdom. This is an important detail to iterate because for me, this describes someone who has become depressed to the point they have become suicidal. From my experience, people who are considering suicide tend to contemplate death, but don’t choose a way to die until they feel they cannot bear life’s pain anymore. Usually that occurs with one last event that feels rather impactful on their life. Once that event happens to them though, they have resolved how, but not when.

The time frame between how and when is the most important time for us to help people with suicidal thoughts because they usually try to find a reason to live one last time, because they don’t entirely want to die. They want comfort and for someone to help them find peace within this life. If they don’t receive that help, they’ll make the selfish decision to cease living to end the pain. This isn’t true for all cases. I’m just stating from my experience, this is what seems to happen.

 

Job isn’t the only man to curse the day he was born in Scripture. Jeremiah did so as well in Jeremiah 20: 14-18. Both of these men sought out comfort from God in times of persecution because it was unjustly given to them. Jeremiah also wrote Lamentations mourning the destruction of Israel that began the Babylonian Exile time frame.

 

The exercise of lamenting is to express grief and mourning in a manner to seek supplication or comfort from God. The fine line between seeking pity and lamenting is who are you reaching out to when expressing your mourning and grief. Seeking pity is to seek out comfort from man to make things better. Lamenting is to seek out God and ask for His comfort. Something for us all to work on is to help lead one another in times of trouble to God for His guidance and comfort, instead of trying to help fix the problem ourselves.

 

Also, a song that I believe shows lamenting well is “Vice Verses” by Switchfoot, if you’d like some music to listen to while reading, or to keep focus on the idea of lamenting throughout your day. It should be noted, if you look up the song you may come across the full album because the song and the album share a title.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_Lv8z9RuPA

 

Andrew Cheatwood

Depression: Strictly Chemical, or can there be Spiritual Causes?

job 2 10.png

Depression and mental illness have become hot topics in the public eye in the past decade, and for good reason. Chaos and heartless acts are being televised everywhere, traumatic and high stress events occur in peoples’ lives, and it becomes so easy to stay stuck in an abysmal state of mind. For some people, depression is a chemical imbalance that can be treated with prescription drugs. I believe it goes deeper than that for many people nowadays though. Depression for some people comes from a place of spiritual turmoil. It is something I know from personal experience because I’ve been fighting with depression on and off for over a decade. It starts to eat away at you, pessimism is the easiest form of logic to use, hopelessness starts to flood into you, and just a general lack of self worth creates a house for itself in your heart and mind. These were constants in my life since my 8th grade year when one of my biggest life influences, my grandpa, passed away. When that happened, my fight or flight instincts kicked into gear about how do I react to this situation. The choices my heart and mind gave me were: cry out to God for comfort and just to understand why this happened, or run away in the anger that had welled up within the confusion and pain because of unresolved time with my grandfather.

 

I ran away from God that day because I was hurt, I didn’t know how to talk about what had happened, and I was scared to show a hole in my armor at school because it felt like the people at school fed on my failure and pain. I now know looking at the past that probably wasn’t true, but I lost that passion to learn for a bit because I didn’t want to be attacked from the inside and out. The experiences I’ve had may not have been pleasant, but we’ve got an example of someone in Scripture who has gone through much worse, and came out on top because of his faith in God. That man’s name is Job. I believe that if we take the time to understand him we can learn to sympathize or empathize with people who have gone through, or are going through spiritual depression.

 

Job 2:9 (NASB). “Then his wife said to him, ‘Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” Personally, this verse is the best example of a variant of the fight or flight question that ran through my mind. Job was given the option to hold fast to his integrity, which stems from his relationship with the Heavenly Father. He was also given the option to curse God and die. Given everything that had happened to him by this point, it would be extremely easy for anyone to cry out in anger against God. Job by this point had lost all his monetary wealth, his cattle were all decimated, his children all recently died, and he had just begun to lose his health. Even through all of that, he stayed faithful to YHWH. Job 2:10 (NASB): “But he said to her, ‘You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?’ In all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

The response he gives has been stuck inside my head ever since I have read these verses. “…Shall we indeed accept good from God and not adversity…” That is such a healthy perspective on life, and one we must learn for ourselves. These words are ones I believe we must learn to use with one another in love and gentleness because it is easier to become angry with God, instead of realize we can use the rough patches of our lives as catalysts for something better. Whether that is to draw closer to God, be empathetic with another’s life stories, or to share our stories letting others know they aren’t the only ones struggling in this life.

-Andrew Cheatwood

 

United in Hope

john 3 17

I remember learning in a college psychology class that the two emotions most commonly selected by people meeting the criteria for clinical depression are guilt and shame. I saw the list that was given out in the assessment, and it included lots of others that I thought might have topped the list. Ones like grief, anger, fear, sadness, despondence, loneliness, rejection, etc. But, the two that were the most common consistently were guilt and shame. At the time I was a little surprised by that just because there were so many choices and they all seemed so “depressing”, but as the years go by, I am more surprised that I was surprised.

That is because guilt and shame are crippling and powerful negative emotions that we all experience. In definition, guilt and shame are a bit separated in the sense that guilt refers to the feeling associated with our behavior while shame is associated with a negative feeling of ourselves. Sin causes both. Because we all sin, we all experience the devastation of both emotions. And in a world where we find ourselves with divisions of race, socioeconomic class, culture, language,  and background. . . let it be known. . .we all experience guilt and shame because we are all guilty and shameful. If there is one thing uniting us all, it is that we are all intrinsically unworthy desperately in need of a savior. There aren’t those who are “really guilty” and those who are a “little guilty”. And even if that were the case, I think I’d want to be the former because in human reasoning, that is where the “man after God’s own heart” falls, and I believe those who recognize their unworthiness also recognize their need for God more. The human race is made up of innately sinful people completely unrighteous and unworthy constantly falling short of our perfect sovereign God.

“As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10, NIV)

“The LORD looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. All have turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one. (Psalm 14:2-3)

But, long before our existence God knew this and had an eternal plan. A plan to send a savior, His begotten son, Jesus.  So, while we experience that guilt and shame, we are also able to experience mercy, forgiveness, and hope. His desire is not to condemn us because of our guilt, but to save us from it. We feel shame because we don’t deserve that love and favor, but despite how we feel about it, it is there for the taking. Always. Again and again.

“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved”  (John 3:17, NIV)

“For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21, NIV)

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9, NIV)

Just as we are united in the sense that we all sin and experience guilt and shame, we are also able to share forgiveness and hope together. We all have the opportunity to be forgiven by God, but not so we can “feel better”. . . so we can glorify Him. One of the most beautiful ways to do that is to forgive others. Who doesn’t love the story of the Prodigal Son? So, may we seek to live with the mercy of the father and not with the bitterness and pride of the brother. The inheritance that matters is our shared one. And part of loving our giver is sharing the gift with others.  It is worth returning for. It is worth staying for. It is worth learning about. And it alone is the lasting source of hope.

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” (Revelation 21: 1-4, NASV)

 

–Jennifer Hall

Warning: Lethal Wound

Psalm 38

Untitled design (1)

I am afraid we have an ugly topic to talk about today.  It’s no fun, but it has to be done.  It is more fun to talk about sunshine, knitting and fruit salad (see the last two days’ posts).  But when we don’t talk about this topic and acknowledge it and be on the defensive against it, it has a way of festering, oozing out of control and taking over by force – consuming ourself and others in its path of destruction.

I am talking about sin.  One verse toward the end of yesterday’s psalm about trials points to the seriousness of sin: “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” (Psalm 66:18) .  Ouch.  The All-Powerful God who loves and cares for me will not hear my prayers, my petitions, or even my praise if my sin is creating a sound-proof barrier between me and Him.  His holiness will not allow it.  Sin is serious and must be dealt with in order for me to be heard by God.

King David was a man who knew a thing or two about the devastating effects of sin.  In Psalm 38 he describes many consequences of sin: God’s anger and discipline, ill health, overwhelming guilt, searing pain, severe depression, social isolation, increased enemies, and confusion.  What other consequences can you find in this psalm?  He states, “My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly.” (Psalm 38:5).

The thing is…”sinful folly” sounds just a wee bit fun, doesn’t it??  Maybe it’s a glance at pornography, experimenting with friends doing drugs or alcohol, speeding recklessly down the interstate with some great tunes cranking out, making out with your significant other, or getting a good laugh out of the lunch crew when you share a great put-down.  It’s a little exhilarating – for a time.  And that’s the trouble with sin.  It can start by seeming like no big deal.  I highly doubt that King David woke up one morning and said, “This is the day.  I am going to go watch a woman bathe, and then commit adultery and that will lead to deception, murder, the death of my child, a plaque of violence on my family, and ….   No one plans to be sucked into a downward spiral of sin, deceit and pain.  Rather, it begins with small acts of selfishness – thinking of my own pleasure over and above what is right, pleasing to God and helpful to others.  And then the demon of pride enters and says we can handle this burning coal and we won’t get burned.  So, we say yes to that little urge of ‘sinful folly’.

Before we know it, we are facing festering wounds and a forest fire.  And the good-feeling exhilaration is long gone.  In it’s place is only pain, isolation, depression, guilt and confusion.

Sadly, this is not true for only adulterous murderers.  It is the same for me.  It is the same for you.  It is the same for the most saintly person you know.  In the New Testament James gives the same warning David does: “But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.  Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” (James 1:14-15).  Sin is a big deal, and not just for the sinner, but for so many others who will be affected.

I was looking for a great picture of gangrene to open this devotion.  They were much worse than I had anticipated (as is the case with sin) so I will not include an actual visual.  But, imagine, blackened decaying flesh surrounded by raw, oozing, pain.  Death has set in – even while the rest of the body lives.  Sin, left unchecked and allowed to grow, is like this extreme infection.  It leads to death most certainly – if not treated.  Sin, too, must be treated, and the earlier the better.  Psalm 38:18 shares the first important step to restoration: “I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin.”  Tear down the sound-proof barrier your sins have built up between you and God.  Cry out to him in confession.  Thank God for the gift of His Son Jesus Christ who died so we might be forgiven when we come to the Father with a repentant heart, ready to be obedient in turning from our sins and seeking to live a holy life.

Even gangrene can be healed.  It requires hard dirty work (sometimes even using amputation or maggots) – a process of cutting out and destroying the old which causes death.  Maybe a friend who is a bad influence needs to be cut out, or maybe it’s a TV channel or social media.  And, then a lot of antibiotics and sometimes lifestyle changes are needed to return to health. God’s Word, prayer, a church body and healthy habits are great antibiotics for a repentant sinner.

Remember our memory verse for this week from Psalm 139:24 – “See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  Sin is serious – even when it starts small.  Don’t let sins fester.  Pray for conviction where conviction is due, and healing and restoration where that is needed.  And seek out the everlasting way.

-Marcia Railton

 

 

 

 

 

Social Media Warning: Stripping on a Winter’s Day

Proverbs 25 – Thursday

“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.”   Proverbs 25:20

Prov 25-20

Any of us could be forgiven if, by looking at our latest social media feed, we were surrounded by people full of joy living their best life today.  It’s easy to see how perfect our friend’s lives appear when viewed one photo, tweet, or snap at a time.  It’s a perfect and tailored vision of what their lives are.

 

It isn’t uncommon for me to find myself not refreshed by spending a few (many) minutes on my latest Instagram feed, but actually more tired, weary, and heavy.  In fact, recent studies have shown that spending more time on social media platforms actually increases the likelihood of depression.  I know that I’m not the first one to say this, but holding our own lives – with all its boring, sad, weird bits – against the lives we see portrayed every day in these feeds is a pretty easy way to see yourself into a sadder state.  

 

The thing is, we have a hard time stopping.  We delete our Facebook, shut down our Twitter, and delete Snapchat from our phone.  But before long, it’s right back again.

 

I want to talk about this, because I think that this verb from Proverbs speaks as deeply to how we treat ourselves as to how we treat others.

 

The more obvious way to read this verse is to see it as a directive to treat others and their pain with the respect it deserves.  If someone’s in pain, don’t try to gloss over it.  If they’re hurting, quit trying to just make them laugh.  Quit telling me to smile.


And I can easily point out a ton of examples of how we see this same message echoed throughout scripture. The best thing that Job’s friends do isn’t to try to tell him how to fix it all, but to sit with him in the ashes and mourn with him.  Paul tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.  God sent Christ to meet us exactly where we are.  

 

The Christian message is one of meeting people in their pain and sharing its load with them.  Just like the song says, lean on me when you’re not strong, and I’ll be your friend.  I’ll help you carry on… (you’re welcome for getting that stuck in your head).  


But I want to focus on how we can each steal garments away from ourselves and pour vinegar on our own wounds.  Although we can and do find all sorts of crutches in our life, few of them have the alluring power that social media has inspired over the past decade.  Why?  Because unlike many addictions, social media – when misused – can give us the fleeting sensation of being connected with others without any of the benefits of actually engaging in relationship with them.  

 

Because social media also has the ability to be a transformative tool for actual social engagement.  It can help us find a community of friends who will help us bear that load (to help us carry on…get it???).  I don’t want you to mistake this as a tirade against social media usage, but rather as a call to reflect on how we should keep it in its proper orientation.  Where digital connections enhance and strengthen the bonds you’ve built IRL (in real life), it can provide a way to stay connected in meaningful ways like never before.  But if it has become an addiction that keeps us from engaging in the richness of the world around us, then we may find ourselves stripping off our own clothing on a winter’s day.

 

We need to not only treat others emotional trauma with the kind of respect and “sitting-with-ness” it deserves.  But, we need to be attentive to our own emotional needs so that we can feed ourselves with relationships and community that doesn’t just feel engaging, but actually is.  

 

-Graysen Pack

Few Words

Psalm 116 – 118

psalms-116-1-2.jpg

Sunday, January 15

Every Tuesday that school meets, I get the opportunity to musically accompany a student who leads a song for our school’s Fellowship of Christian Students.  This takes some minor coordination, as a student sends me an email at some point during the week to make sure that I am familiar with the song he/she wants to sing, and he/she might arrange a quick practice if need be.  There is really nothing special about these emails.  More times than not, all the information is in the subject line, and there is no actual message.  One such email came not long ago:

 

Subject: Singing good good father on Tuesday

Message:<none>

At first glance this is far from spectacular.  In fact, it is an English teacher’s nightmare.  Lack of punctuation, capitalization, or salutation, yet this may have been the most powerful prose that has ever been written by one of my students.  These six words have a concealed connotation that are revealed with a reflection on the text.

 

To say it mildly, this school year had been a bumpy one for the sender of this email.  Along with the many other complications that come from being in middle school, this student had faced many a giant outside the school walls.  Two months prior, she had suddenly lost a very close grandmother to an unexpected illness.  Then, it was only a month later when her grandfather decided he could no longer deal with the tremendous vacancy left by his wife; he took his own life.  This left the student floundering, dealing with depression and her own darkening desires, all while trying to do drama-and-hormone-filled middle school as a typical preteen.

 

I was moved, because out of all the songs she could have picked….this one.  Not a song asking God to give her comfort.  Not a song asking God to give her strength.  Not a song asking God to give her peace, joy, lift the burden, make it go away, overcome, change, deliver, or go before her.  Not a song asking God to give her anything she did not already have.  Only the reflection upon a few simple words about who he is, and his undeniable, unfaltering, unconcealed relationship with us, that will, in turn, bring all of those things and more.

 

“You’re a Good, Good Father, it’s who You are

And I’m loved by You, it’s who I am”

“You are perfect in all of your ways to us”

 

In today’s reading we experience an equally brief but equally powerful message.  Psalm 117 is the shortest chapter of the Bible.  Depending upon your translation, it is simply twenty words or so.

Upon glancing over it, you have undoubtedly read similar words in other Psalms, and it would be easy to breeze by and never notice its power-packed message:

 

“Praise the Lord, all you nations,

Praise Him, all you people of the earth.

For his unfailing love for us is powerful

The Lord’s faithfulness endures forever.

Praise the Lord!”

 

These words were written well before the act of Jesus Christ became our propitiation, yet we are promised partakers in his love and faithfulness.  A love and faithfulness that has been and is working for ALL (not Israel, or even Christians)  but ALL people of ALL nations at ALL times.  Only reflecting upon a few words dramatically affects the reading of this passage. These words, which possibly  sound repetitive, general, or generic after reading through the Psalms, are chosen specifically to show that He is and has been working specifically, powerfully, and faithfully in your life much longer than we could have ever expected or known.

-Aaron Winner

“You’re a Good, Good Father”, “Praise the Lord”

(Photo credit: https://dailyverses.net/psalms/116/1-2/kjv)

Dealing with Depression (1 Kings 19-20)

Thursday, November 3

66897-still_small_voice7

Melissa New

An important lesson can be garnered from the life of Elijah in chapter 19 of I Kings. If you haven’t dealt with depression yet, there is a good chance you will at some point. Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) So how do we deal with depression? I believe all the steps are provided for us here…

1. Sleep – Elijah had just been through a pretty significant experience. He challenged the prophets of Baal and God used him in powerful way. On top of that, Elijah then ran mighty fast for about seventeen miles using the “special strength” God gave him! When we are physically drained everything seems worse. And at this point Elijah was ready to die. “Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree.” ( I Kings 19:5)

2. Eat – God knew what Elijah needed. He let Elijah sleep for a bit and then sent an angel with some fresh bread and water. (Food directly from God must taste extra yummy and it was undoubtedly super nutritious too!) Then Elijah slept some more and the angel returned to make sure he ate again so that he would have the strength to keep going.

3. Go to God – The spent and sorrowful prophet headed to Mount Sinai, the mountain of God. He needed some quality time talking to God and he poured out his heart to Him. Elijah was lonely. He felt like he was the only one left who wasn’t worshipping Baal. God, in a gentle whisper, told Elijah that it was time to anoint a new king in Israel and a new prophet to replace himself.

4. Remember you aren’t alone – Elijah wasn’t alone. There was a very good man in Abel-meholah that would become like a son to Elijah. There were “7,000 others in Israel who had never bowed down to Baal or kissed him!” And whatever trials we may face as Christians, we can be assured that we aren’t alone either.