Tag: anger

Birds of a Feather Will Flock Together

Proverbs 22

Proverbs 22 24 25

My parents often reminded me while growing up that I needed to choose my friends wisely. They were not shy about sharing with me when they did not care for a particular friend or friend group.  This often would cause strife between us because I thought I was strong enough to be the “influencer” in my relationships. Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that it was easy to fall. A friendship principle of the old west says, “Those we hang with may be the reason we are being hanged” or simply put in today’s terms, we learn behaviors of our friends. For better or worse, our friends greatly influence our decisions and choices.

 

Today’s wisdom is gleaned from Proverbs 22:24-25, it says “do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, or you will learn his ways and find a snare for yourself.” This is specifically speaking about an angry person but I think that it can be used in general terms, “birds of a feather will flock together.” Simply put, birds congregate with birds of their own species. So, if you surround yourself with friends that are not making the best choices, then you can ultimately find yourself in a similar situation. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character.”

 

I liked this illustration of the strength of influence. Take the biggest person in a room and you have them stand on a chair while a smaller person stands next to them. It will be easier for the smaller person to pull the big person down off of the chair than it will be for the big person to lift the small person up on the chair. It just shows that it doesn’t take much to bring you down, even if you think you have strong faith. Proverbs 13:20 says “He that walk with the wise shall be wise; but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

 

Hang out with a brawler, you may get a black eye. Hang out with a drunkard, you may find yourself drinking too much. Befriend a thief and you may find yourself in trouble with the law. But, befriend a wise person and you become wise. Your company determines your character. Show me your friends and I will show you your future.

 

Erin Bormes

 

 

 

 

You Do You! or ?

Proverbs 14

Proverbs 14 12 NIV.png

“You do you!” This phrase is ubiquitous… I’ve seen it on social media, heard it on commercials,  and tween shows my daughter enjoys watching. I’ve even heard actual people say it directly to actual people. 🙂

On the face of it, it’s a pretty positive and encouraging phrase.  Don’t let others define you. Do what you enjoy. Do what makes you happy! And that’s all great and wonderful…to a point. That point is the Holy Bible. You can totally do You if the You that you do is aligned with God’s word. The problem comes when your You goes with whatever you FEEL is right, rather than what you KNOW is scriptural.

Here in Proverbs 14 (especially in verse 12) we are reminded that so many of the things, thoughts, and actions we think are right, actually lead to destruction.

Proverbs 14:1 really hit me hard in this area. Unlike the wise woman building her house, I was letting my struggle with anger threaten mine. For a season, my anger was quick, hot, and in my mind, justified. I was right to be angry. I was being taken for granted, no one understood what I was going through, why was everything up to me???  I often felt the anger from my stomach up to my jaw.  Proverbs 14 repeatedly warns of the folly of anger (16, 17, 29) but I was choosing to follow my feelings over wisdom.

I thought I was right…but only because of the grace of God and a forgiving family, my “rightness” did not lead to destruction.

Everyone should evaluate their You. If doing You involves sin (Galatians 5:19-21), you must let that go. Christ goes even further to say that if we are to be his disciples, we must DENY ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow him (Matthew 16:24).

When looking to Godly wisdom, such as found in Proverbs 14, You will start to look less like you and more like Christ. That is true wisdom.

So this song came out when I was 14 (1986). Having it tucked in my head has often helped me make choices to please God.

 

God Pleaser by Petra

So many voices telling me which way to go

So many choices come from those who think they know

There’s a way that seems right to a man

But it only brings him death

I want to go the way that leads to life

Till I draw my dying breath

Don’t want to be a man pleaser – I want to be a God pleaser

I just want to have the wisdom to discern the two apart

Don’t want to be a man pleaser – I want to be a God pleaser

I just want to do the things that please the Father’s heart

Some make a sacrifice and never let it show

Some make a point of letting everybody know

Some will live their lives as unto men

And they have their reward

I just want to do everything I do

With all my heart unto the Lord

I just want my life to glorify His Son

To make my Father proud that I’m His child before I’m done

No need to pat me on the back or stop to shake my hand

I just want to hear my Father say “Well done, well done”

I just want to hear my Father say “Well done”

 

devotion by Maria Knowlton

Consistently Strong

James 3

James 3 5 NIV

Have you ever heard young boys arguing? It may begin as an argument about which is faster but many times it will end up with the two boys shouting something to the effect of, “My dad is stronger than your dad!” Often times we see our fathers as a symbol of strength, but what does strength look like? Is it a bodybuilder with bulging muscles? Is it a sprinter with unbelievable speed? These can be measures of physical strength but the strength that we are called to display is more than just strength of body.

The world tells us that a strong person should “get mad and fight like a man” God tells us through James to control our speech and even to control our anger. In chapter one he said, “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry”. James 1:26 tells us “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless” In Chapter 3 he says that anyone who does not stumble in what he says is a perfect man, I can tell you I am far from perfect. He goes on to explain how such a small part of our bodies can control and lead so much of our life. When I take a flight I often sit near the wing and will watch the flaps as the pilot makes adjustments to control the aircraft. It always amazes me to see that such a small change, in a relatively small piece of the plane, can determine the altitude of such a massive machine as it carries me through the air at hundreds of miles per hour. James 3:5-8 says

5 So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. 7 For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. 8 But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.

Although the tongue is such a small part of our body it is what we use to express our thoughts and emotions to those around us. Jesus even said that our words are the overflow of our heart. Does that mean when we are sarcastic and disrespectful to those around us that is what is truly in our heart? That can be a disturbing thought sometimes. Perhaps we should use our words to view the contents of our heart.

When I lived in the South I would hear someone say something inappropriate and another person would ask, (insert your best southern accent) “You kiss yo momma with that mouth?” James says something similar but with even more force. He says, “With it we bless our Lord and Father; and with it we curse men, … these things ought not to be this way.” We should seek to honor both God and people with our words.

We should be consistent with our thoughts and actions.

We should be consistent in the strength of self-control.

It takes true strength to control your tongue.

Show strength that builds up, not tears down!

-Bill Dunn

Mercy & Grace – OR – a Cosmic Butt-Kicking

FREE THEME WEEK – Psalms!

Psalm 69 24

This week we are looking at seven different types of psalms.  So far we’ve seen wisdom, royal and lament.  Today we are looking at, perhaps, the most difficult of all, imprecatory.  Imprecatory means, quite simply, to call down a curse upon another.

Now, this is kind of tricky for Christians.  After all, Jesus taught us that we are supposed to forgive as we want to be forgiven.  We are supposed to love our enemies, right?  So how exactly can we justify praying imprecatory psalms as Christians?

Let’s look at an example of an imprecatory Psalm 69.

1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.
4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.

 

It starts out quite similar to a psalm of lament, as we discussed on Tuesday.  “Help God! Things are going badly.  I’m sinking.  Everyone is out to get me!  I’m all alone!”

He goes on to appeal to God for help.

19 You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed;
all my enemies are before you.
20 Scorn has broken my heart
and has left me helpless;
I looked for sympathy, but there was none,
for comforters, but I found none.
21 They put gall in my food
and gave me vinegar for my thirst.

Again, this has a familiar ring to it.  The gospel writers used this scripture to point to Jesus on the cross- remember when he said he was thirsty and they gave him vinegar to drink?

So far, we are still lamenting.  It’s dark, but it’s about to turn darker:

22 May the table set before them become a snare;
may it become retribution and a trap.
23 May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see,
and their backs be bent forever.
24 Pour out your wrath on them;
let your fierce anger overtake them.
25 May their place be deserted;
let there be no one to dwell in their tents.
26 For they persecute those you wound
and talk about the pain of those you hurt.
27 Charge them with crime upon crime;
do not let them share in your salvation.
28 May they be blotted out of the book of life
and not be listed with the righteous.

 

Yikes! It just got real!  The person doesn’t just want God to save him, he wants God to crush his enemies.

“Pour out your wrath on them!”  “May they be blotted out of the book of life.”  Wow!  That’s pretty intense.

“May their place be deserted.”  Luke quoted that verse in the book of Acts when he talked about the need to replace Judas as one of the 12 Apostles.

How does this kind of call for God to damn your enemies fit within the overall message of the gospel of Jesus’ love and forgiveness?

Time and space doesn’t permit the kind of deep digging we might need to do to really get this, but I’ll take a stab at it.  When people hurt us, I mean really hurt us, our normal reaction is to want to hurt them back.  The desire to get revenge and retaliate when wronged is pretty normal, if we’re being honest.  So what do we do with that hurt, that anger, that pain?

Well, we know that some people take a gun and go shoot people at school or at work.  Some people take to social media and try to destroy another person’s life and reputation.  If you’re Carrie Underwood: “I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little low Mercedes Benz
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.”

Sure, who among us hasn’t wanted to do that, and worse?

But as Christians we’re supposed to love our enemies.

Paul says in Romans 12

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Yes, there’s a lot in there about how we are supposed to not pay people back, we’re supposed to love.  Sandwiched in the middle of it all is “leave room for God’s wrath.”  Yes, God is a God of tremendous love, grace, mercy and forgiveness and he offers even the worst of sinners the chance for mercy and forgiveness- but he also knows how to do wrath.  He knows how to punish the unrepentant- and the Bible makes it clear that he will do so.

I don’t know who deserves mercy and grace and who deserves a cosmic butt-kicking, and neither did the Apostle Paul, and neither do you.  So we leave it to God.  Imprecatory prayers are simply ways that we say to God,  “I’m hurting and I want to hurt back, but I’m not going to.  I’m going to trust you to deal with this person the way you choose. (but here’s my pain and rage-fueled suggestion for how I’d like you to do it)”

-Jeff Fletcher

 

Three Deep Breaths

PROVERBS 29

Proverbs 29-11

When reading Proverbs 29, I caught onto a theme of how to handle anger and frustration.  Verse 8 says that the wise turn away anger.  Verse 11 reads that the wise bring calm whereas the fool vents his rage.  Verse 20 instructs us not to speak in haste, verse 22 tells us that angry and hot-tempered people stir up conflict and commit many sins, and verse 23 warns against pride, which is often a precursor to anger and argument.

We all encounter trying situations.  We all have tense moments in which we want to scream into a pillow or go for a run or do whatever helps us to cool off.  Proverbs 29 instructs us to keep a cool head and turn away from anger.  I remember a scene from a movie or television show (although for the life of me, I can’t remember the source) in which a character is stressing out.  Another character instructs her to take 3 deep breaths, saying that in the time it takes to complete those 3 breaths, she will stop herself from doing or saying anything she may later regret.

At some point or another, we all get angry.  In these times, it is important to know how God instructs us to handle ourselves.  I had a classmate in college who would pray for the class before every exam.  She always ended her prayers by asking the Lord to keep us calm, cool, and collected during the stress of the exam.  Three deep breaths.  Calm, cool, and collected.  When on the verge of having an outburst, remember to be the wise man and bring calm.  Be wise and turn away anger.  Don’t speak in haste.  Lean on the Lord and His teachings, even in tense moments.  Three deep breaths allows for enough time to reflect back on these verses.

-Megan Bryant

Praying Hard

James 1-5

James_1-6

Wednesday, July 12

I have seen several ruined relationships within families, friendships, and significant others due to not taming the tongue. Most of these situations would probably have been avoided if everyone were “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19 NIV). It is frowned upon to show favoritism to one person over another because it shows discrimination; instead we should be loving our neighbors as ourselves by showing them mercy and compassion.

Within the community that I live in, there has been a lot of (verbal) fighting via complaining, judgment, swearing, and insults. According to James 3:9-10: “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” The community dynamic would undoubtedly be a lot better to live in, despite having completely different personalities and interests, if the people involved thought before they spoke avoiding hurt feelings and strained relationships.

As Christians, our faith will be tested numerously throughout our lifetimes. This testing produces endurance and develops perseverance. Through the testing of our faith, it is imperative to follow what God’s word says while facing several trials. To live wisely, we need to show our faith to God and Jesus through our actions because “…faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead” (James 2:17 NIV). We also need to submit ourselves to God and never have doubts when asking for His provision. If we have the right intentions in asking, God will provide. It is important to humble ourselves before the Lord and stop boasting about the future. As a planner—I love making lists, looking at events to attend, and making plans with friends. However, I have no idea if I will even be here tomorrow. James 4:15 says that we should say “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that,” instead of making plans that might not even happen.

Prayer is significant and powerful in every life situation. I know quite a few people who have given up on hope and stopped being patient in waiting for God. As Christians, it is our job to help those who have wandered away from the truth. James 5:20 states that “… whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” So please pray for everyone you know that may need God and Jesus back into their life.

 

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that whoever reads this will ask you for help in whatever situation that they may be facing. I pray that people will stop fighting and instead listen to each other with better understanding. I hope that people turn from their wicked ways and “confess their sins and pray for each other so that they may be healed” (James 5:16). Please help me find a way to aid my friends back to you so that they may be saved. Thank you for sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins. I love you, Lord, and cannot wait for your return.

In Jesus’s Glorious Name, I pray, Amen.

-Cynthia Fyfe

(Photo Credit: https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/James-1-6_Inspirational_Image/)

Choose Your Battles

Mark 10-13

temple tantrum brick testament

Thursday, May 11

What are some of the things that make you mad and how do you react when you are upset?  Do you think Jesus ever got mad or expressed his anger?

We read in Mark 11 of a time where Jesus was anything but quiet and soft spoken. We see Him turning tables and running people out of the temple. This is not to say that we should go flipping tables and chasing people whenever we get upset, that is NOT what was happening here. Jesus reacted in this way not because someone disagreed with Him, in those instances He says to turn the other cheek. He reacted this way because these individuals had taken the temple of His Father and they were using it like a common marketplace. The things they were doing were a disgrace to the sanctuary of God. Jesus was angry with a righteous indignation. He was furious because the temple of God was being defiled!

Do you get more upset and react in a more dramatic way if someone speaks against you or against your God? Hopefully we are faster to defend our God rather than ourselves. We tend to be pretty quick to jump at small things, leaving the big things for someone else to handle. I think of David before He became king, he was willing to fight a giant because of what he had said about our God.

We must pick our battles. It isn’t easy to let someone talk about you or your family. It isn’t easy to let them bad mouth a friend. These things don’t matter as much in the end though. What truly matters is how we defend our faith, how we stand for our God. We MUST stand firm when it comes to the scripture, we MUST share our faith, and we MUST learn to choose our battles as Jesus did.

– Bill Dunn

 

(Photo Credit: 

http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_life_of_jesus/temple_tantrum/jn02_15b.html)

How Do You Handle Things?

Jeremiah 9-11

jeremiah-9_24

Wednesday, March 1

Chapter 9 is moping about how things are. Jeremiah 9:12 And who is he to whom the mouth of the Lord has spoken, that he may declare it? Why is the land ruined, laid waste like a desert, so that no one passes through?

Chapter 10 is about recognition that they were wrong. Jeremiah 10:23 

Chapter 11 How do you handle being wrong? What do you do when you hurt someone?  This chapter is about their covenant being broken and the plot to hurt Jeremiah.

The question for these chapters should be how do you handle things?

For many its lying, anger, resentment and shame.  But God has been very clear in spite of how we act, He will not break His covenant.  How you handle that is the real question.

-Andy Cisneros

God’s DETEST List

Proverbs 14-16

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Wednesday, January 25

A phrase that is repeated numerous times in the Proverbs is “The Lord detests…”  It’s not just, “God doesn’t really like it very much when we ….”.   No, The Lord DETESTS!  I for one want to be far, far, far away from God’s DETEST List.  Sounds like we need some more information to know what to avoid.

— 15:8 – The Lord DETESTS the sacrifice of the wicked, but the prayer of the upright pleases him.
— 15:9 – The Lord DETESTS the way of the wicked, but he loves those who pursue righteousness.
— 15:26 – The Lord DETESTS the thoughts of the wicked, but those of the pure are pleasing to him.
— 16:5 – The Lord DETESTS all the proud of heart.  Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

My heart sinks.   Wasn’t it just yesterday I said my PRIDE leads me to believe I am usually right.  Perhaps I am inching closer to that Detest List than I would like to admit.  And, the dangers don’t end there – there are numerous other “The Lord DETESTS” throughout the Proverbs: haughty eyes, lying tongue, hands that shed blood, a scheming heart, feet rushing to evil, a false witness, a man stirring up dissension (6:16-19), perverse hearts (11:20), acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent (17:15), and dishonest scales (20:23).  We are so comfortable with the warm and fuzzy “God of Love”, that we sometimes prefer to forget about the Lord DETESTS list.  So, while we are spending some time evaluating our mouth this week, let’s also examine our heart and deeds and attitudes and thoughts.  May we not become like the Pharisees, so proud of our “righteousness” that we lose sight of God and His many-faceted and always right –  love AND judgment.
Dear God – Help me to see myself clearly, as You see me.   Help me to grow in my understanding of You and what You desire of me.   Help me steer clear of ALL that is on your DETEST list and seek to please you always.

And, speaking of pleasing God . . . here’s just a sampling of some more great lessons from these 3 chapters of Proverbs . . .

On our Attitude –

  • “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” (14:30)
  • “All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.  Better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.” (15:15,16)

Contentment with what you have and what comes your way.  It is well with my soul – even if I don’t have what others do or what I thought I wanted.  Enjoy the feast before you – whatever it may be.

On Patience vs. Temper  –

  • “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city” (16:32)
  • “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel” (15:18)
  • “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly” (14:29)
  • “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (15:1)

Watching our mouth is so much easier when we learn to think before speaking.  Slow down, simmer down – it will save you, and others, a lot of grief.

On Helping the Needy –

  • “He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy.” (14:21)
  • “He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.” (14:31)

How can you honor God this week with an act of kindness to the needy?
God Bless You as You Seek Him,

Marcia Railton

 

(Photo credit: photo by Bob Smerecki, found at https://www.flickr.com/photos/snapnpiks0304/10636599685)

The Full Gamut

Psalm 79-84

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Sunday, January 8

In one of my favorite books, one character is shocked that someone could feel so much emotion at the same time. This leads him to say “One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode.” This comment makes his friend (a girl), chidingly reply “Just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have”.
At certain times or in certain churches, it feels like there is only one acceptable way to come to God, only one emotion that is allowable before the Almighty. There was a Baptist church that I visited in South Carolina that was grim and dark and full of hellfire preaching. It seemed that they believed only sorrow and repentance were acceptable before God. Other churches demand happiness, chipper-ness, cheerfulness; no matter what are your actual day-to-day circumstances, put on a smile (or else).
However, God doesn’t demand that from his people. As you read today’s reading, you will be greeted by the soaring highs of Psalm 81 (v1 “Sing for joy…shout in triumph”) and 84 (v12 “Happy is the person who trusts in You, Lord of Hosts!”). Approaching God with joy and shouting is something God admires and inspires. But this is not the only way the authors write these psalms. Psalm 79:5 reads “How long, Yahweh? Will You be angry forever? Will Your jealousy keep burning like fire?” These words are full of sorrow and pleading. It is what the broken, the hurt, the oppressed cry out to God, and it is in the inspired writing of the Psalms. But the very next verses give us EVEN more emotions, namely anger. “Pour out Your wrath on the nations that don’t acknowledge You,” because they have devastated your people. Normally we think anger is wrong; no ifs, ands, or buts. However, the inspired author is allowing his anger at the unjust system of the world, the anger at the sins that people do to one another, to be expressed to God.
If you are always happy, awesome! I’m usually a pretty happy guy myself. But if you experience emotion like a human, and if you experience some right side-by-side, the psalms provide avenues to express yourself to God and prove that you are not alone. God doesn’t demand that you come to him in only one particular way. Instead, he invites you to come as you are.
-Jake Ballard
teaspoon
Jake Ballard is a pastor of Pine Grove Bible Church in Brooklyn Park, MN, where he lives with his wife, Amber and daughter, Melody Grace. He is a gamer (board, card, video, etc.), a geek (currently watch Star Trek: Deep Space 9) and a student. He is in his third year studying to receive his Master’s of Divinity at Bethel Seminary in St. Paul, which he hopes to complete in May 2018. For questions, comments or game or show recommendations, contact him at  jakea.ballard@yahoo.com.
(Psalm 80 photo credit: http://www.alittleperspective.com/psalm-80-reverse-parallelism/)