Ephesians 4

Relationships are tricky things. They are a blessing to us, and yet they don’t come without thorns. God decided in the very beginning that we weren’t to be alone. We were created to be with others. The final three chapters of Ephesians center around how to be in relationships. From the bond found in church bodies and friendships,to slave/servant and master, to children and parents, to husband and wife, we see a wide array of relationships. And they all start in the same place: unity in Christ.

What a tricky thing to do, being one in spirit and purpose when we aren’t always one in mind. For example, you could look at the political atmosphere in our country. I know Christians who are Democrat, and Christians who are Republican, and a vast array in between or beyond. They are definitely not of one mind, though I like to believe that most are of one spirit: they want our country to be a good, safe place to live. We just all have a different ideas of how that should happen, and we prioritize different ideals, right?

The same goes in every relationship. In churches, I rarely see a lack of peace because someone desperately WANTS to go against Christ and destroy his church. Usually I just see different groups of people with different priorities and different ideas of how things should be done. One in spirit, but not one in mind. This holds true in every relationship. No matter how united we are in our goal, we will find differences that lead to conflict.

So how do we handle relationships when we differ in mind? Paul gives us a lot of advice here, so I’ll list some highlights:

1. Be humble, gentle, and patient in love. Show humility by admitting that maybe your way doesn’t have to be THE way. And of course be gentle and patient when you are disagreeing.

2. Seek God in determining your place in the body of Christ, as well as in your relationships. Many times our conflicts occur because we have stepped away from where God wants us.

3. Deal with your anger in a Godly way. Don’t let it take root and stew in your bitterness. Evaluate what you’re actually angry about. Is it righteous anger? Is this anger God would have in the same situation, or is this YOUR anger – anger that things aren’t going the way YOU want them to. If it’s Godly anger, then you need to speak up in truth. If it’s your anger, then you need to stop letting it get in the way of the work God wants to do in you and through you.

4. No unwholesome talk. This means you DON’T put others down. You don’t gossip, and you don’t say hurtful things about those who are one with you in the body of Christ. You don’t put down your children, you don’t put down your spouse, you don’t put down your friends, and you don’t put down your church body. You can’t be unified in mind and purpose if your speech is keeping you apart.

5. Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. That verse is so important to good relationships that I put it to song and had my children memorize it when they were small. God forgave you for all your stupid, stupid mistakes, sins and words. So forgive others for theirs.

6. Do not wait for others to follow Paul’s advice here. It starts with you. Paul didn’t say this, but we see it in every example of a good disciple. You can’t control others’ actions and emotions. But you can control yours. And good disciples take the first steps and live as an example to others.

Paul goes on in the rest of Ephesians with more good advice, specifically pertaining to certain relationships. But these foundations he lays out in chapter four pave the way. You are called to be united in Christ. So it’s time for a relationship inventory.

Reflection Questions:

First, are you united in spirit in this relationship? (As in, do you have the same goal, and is that goal Godly?) If you aren’t, then maybe it’s time to place some safety distance in that relationship so that it doesn’t affect the work God would like to do in your life. If you ARE united in spirit, you can move on to further analysis.

If you’re united in Spirit, are you currently not united in mind about an issue?

Are there negative feelings attached to that issue? Are you angry, bitter, hurt, jealous, anxious, or something similar? You need to find out the root cause. Do those feelings stem from something that is ungodly, or do they come from a more personal place? If you look at it hard enough, is this really just a difference of opinion, or is this an issue of righteousness? Most of the time, it’s a difference of opinion. If that’s the case, it’s time to start looking at Paul’s suggestions there in chapter 4. Most of all, show love. Rather than saying, “I’m angry at this person because of….” start actively saying, “I love this person because…” and you will see a radical shift in your relationships with others. Even if you have to start small with, “I love this person because God told me to.” Doing what God asks is a wonderful place to start.

Prayer Thoughts:

My prayer for you today is that you read through these passages and really try to apply them to your relationships. I pray that you are able to recognize a difference of opinion for what it is – a difference in how your beautiful brains think, not a reason to be angry and distrustful. I pray that you find unity in spirit and unity in mind in your relationships. I pray that when you don’t find that unity, you step up and be a good disciple by making the first move toward togetherness. I pray that you love and forgive others as Christ forgave you.

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Unity

Old Testament: 2 Samuel 20-21

Poetry: Proverbs 6

New Testament: Ephesians 4

After the attacks on September 11, 2001, President George W. Bush spoke to the emergency workers in Ground Zero through a megaphone, finding a response that resonated with the entire country and even more, the world, “I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked down these buildings will hear all of it soon.” A historical 92% of the country approved of the job he was doing, bringing together a country that was fraying at the seams in the previous election cycle. It is hard to imagine something similar happening today; no matter who is the president-elect in November, half of the country will be instantly dissatisfied with the results. These are typical terms we accept in our government, but also this “majority rules” culture has historically found its way into boardrooms and even churches. Let me quickly lower the tension by stating that today’s devotion is not about politics or presidents. It does not upend or chastise any church form of government. Its sole purpose is to examine the expectation of unity laid out for the church body, as it might be equally unimaginable.

This spirit of unity was on the mind of Jesus before being arrested in the garden of Gethsemane. He prays for his disciples and all believers when he leaves us the following words, “Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. (John 17:11b)” Jesus knew his departure to the cross would scatter His apostles, create infighting, and feed doubt. Fortunately, with the exception of Judas, each of them found their way back to a unified front. Having seen Jesus Christ raised to life, they each waited for the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. They each dedicated their lives to sharing the Good News of the Kingdom of God. They each shared in martyrdom or exile for the sake of Christ.

In the same manner, I have seen churches unite during revival, when facing tragedy, or during persecution from the outside. It is easy for the dross to fall away when the metal is hot, but what about when the metal starts to cool? What does unity look like in maintenance mode? Within the day-to-day routine of uniting relationships, mulling through ministries, and discerning what is best for a body of believers? In Ephesians 4, Paul describes this as “walk[ing] in a manner worthy of the calling, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

While there could be a devotion on each of the elements of this verse, let’s quickly unpack the key points given to Ephesus. First, walking implies that it is not a quick process, but instead requires some dedication to go the distance (Eph 2:10). Next, humility is the acknowledgement that self-reflection should be the first step in the process, making adjustments and amendments when necessary (Matt 7:3-5; Phil 2:3), and gentleness is the grace that is extended to my brother and sisters during this same process, as imperfect people try to discern the will of God (Col 4:6). Additionally, we are required to commit to patience and love, easily spoken but in reality, conflict makes us more unbearable to one another (Col 3:12-14; Matt 18:15-20). In the body of believers, this is similar to taking the last rep of weight training, it burns the most, but it is the one that produces the result. Finally, eagerness to maintain unity means we stay focused on what unites us (Rom 14:19), defending against the six things the Lord hates (Prov. 6:16-19), and keep our mission far away from doctrinal nuances or extra-biblical preferences.

Unity takes far more work than building a majority. It isn’t a compromise or consensus because there are no losers. We grow as one together. We move towards one another as we move towards our Heavenly Father. Today, let us be extra mindful in our prayer time to dwell on the topic of unity and ask God to reveal our vision and repair divisions that may exist. May we live out the prayer of Jesus and the petitions of Paul to become one like our God and His Son, Jesus Christ.

-Aaron Winner

Reflection Questions

Where and when have you experienced or seen the beauty of a united church body?
Dedication, humility, gentleness/grace, patience, love, focused on what unites. How can you exhibit these qualities today? How can you use them to increase the unity of your church? What can happen when just one is missing?

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All Forms of Malice

Old Testament: 2 Kings 11 & 12

Poetry: Psalm 132

New Testament: Ephesians 4

Thou shalt not murder. This is one of the simplest commandments to keep. But the Jews of old and the Western world today lay out conditions of killing another human being that are acceptable, or deserve a lesser degree of punishment. In this standard, the most murderiest of murders is “murder with malice”. This means that the crime was premeditated and the intent to kill was established well before the act was carried out – murder happened in the heart first. (Matt 5:21-22) Malice, this intention and desire for evil, has no place in the Christian’s heart.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32

Therefore, It is seemingly pretty simple advice when Paul states Christians should get rid of every form of malice. Christians sin, yes, but isn’t it always accidental or sometimes in the spirit of the moment? Not quite. The malicious premeditation of a Christian is more elaborate and filled with justifications for their crime. Christians become apologetics for the immoral actions of a political candidate because their candidate does their bidding. Christians cheat on their taxes with the justification that the government is spending on abortion. Christians gossip under the guise of having more people in prayer over the concern. Christians withhold the Gospel message from someone because we don’t want to save them (eternal murder with malice). These premeditated actions of Christians remind me of the unreliable narrator in The Tell-Tale Heart, making elaborate justification for his act in madness. They are equally crazy.

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” – Ephesians 4:25-27

If we can feel the malice forming in our minds, it is time to address the issue. Paul states that we should be humble, gentle, patient, and loving, especially with our brothers and sisters in Christ. When we have an issue, ghosting brothers and sisters in Christ is unacceptable and leads to malicious talk and actions. We must find them, and speak truth in love and hope for a unifying and peaceful resolution. Even further, when someone has an issue with us, we must abide by the same rules, seeking resolution and unity. The only defense we are ever to play is accounting for the hope we have and the confidence within us about our faith. (1 Pet 3:15)

Be careful, O Christian. Don’t let the sun go down with anger in your heart. It will turn into bitterness. It will turn into rage. It will turn into murder by the standards of Jesus Christ. Let’s conclude with this ending thought by Paul: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

-Aaron Winner

Reflection Questions

When was the last time you let the sun go down with anger in your heart? How could you have changed how you dealt with the problem?
What is the danger with anger?
Truthfully consider, is there an area where you lean toward malice? How would you go about getting rid of it? What would you replace it with? How?

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All New!

Wednesday, August 17, 2022

One of the most important things a teacher does at the beginning of the school year is establish and practice procedures and routines. From how to enter and exit a classroom, to how to hand in paperwork, to technology expectations, and even knowing how to interact with partners and small groups – these procedures, when done with consistency and proficiency, will create a positive and inclusive classroom environment.

One would think that a high school teacher wouldn’t have to spend time on such things, but even sixteen year olds need a reminder every now and then about when it is and when it is not an appropriate time to ask to use the restroom.

But when these kinds of procedures are practiced throughout a school, it builds a culture of excellence. The standards for behavior and academic performance are raised and students find themselves meeting those expectations.

As I read through Ephesians chapter four, I recognize Paul explaining to the Ephesian believers what a holy lifestyle should look like; what kind of behaviors are acceptable and the kinds of behaviors that are not – especially when it comes to their attitudes and speech.

Being a believer in Christ should be reflected in how we think about and present ourselves. We no longer engage in unholy behaviors – that’s the old self. The new self is transformed to be righteous and holy. And this should be evident in our day-to-day interactions with others.

Paul also explains that as a member of God’s family, we each play an important role. When we collaborate with one another amazing things take place for the sake of the Gospel.

It is important to note that living a holy lifestyle takes intentional effort – it doesn’t just happen. We have to work at it. Much like a classroom teacher spends significant time at the beginning of the school year establishing procedures, regular reminders are key to maintaining a smooth-running classroom. Likewise, if we intend on continuing to grow up spiritually, we also need regular reminders of what a mature believer says and does. This is why the study of scripture and community fellowship is so valuable. As we associate with like-minded believers we are encouraged to continue putting on the new self and working towards becoming the person God has designed us to be, righteous and holy.

-Bethany Ligon

Application Questions

Looking at Ephesians 4 again, what “old self” attitudes, actions, or mindsets does Paul tell the believers to get rid of. In your own “old self”, what have you been (or are currently, or ought to be) working on removing?
Describe the “new self”.
Looking at your own life, what percentage are you “New Self” – are you still walking around in “old self” socks? What will it take to boost that “new self” percentage higher?

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30-Second Challenge

Ephesians 4

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Ephesians 4:1-2)

To live a life worthy of the calling you have received is to reflect God’s character in all you do. Simply put, God is love, so go be love. Paul’s challenge to live out love seems impossible, but what if you did it just 30 seconds at a time?

Before a football game, a coach doesn’t know every play he’s going to call. Instead, he takes it one play at a time. In the same way, love the person in front of you just 30 seconds at a time. Once your 30 seconds is up, challenge yourself to another 30 seconds… and another… and another.

A life isn’t lived in a day, a year, or even five years; instead, it’s lived in the small everyday moments that add up to a big, beautiful life. Stop planning to do one over-the-top, love-filled thing and actually go be love just 30 seconds at a time. A plan isn’t love; it’s just a plan.

If we all accept the challenge to live a life worthy of our calling, Paul paints a beautiful picture of what the church would be like:

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. (Ephesians 4:15-16)

30 seconds. That’s all it takes.

-Mackenzie McClain

Tag: Ephesians 4

Relationship Inventory