Tag: healthy love

Committed Love

Song of Songs 7-8

Psalm 108

Revelation 1

-Devotion by Jerry Wierwille (NY) – today we cover Song of Songs 6-8

At the conclusion of chapter 5, which we looked at yesterday, the woman gave an elaborate description of her beloved and what she loves and admires about him to the daughters of Jerusalem (who are an unnamed group of women that are likely being used as a literary device in the poem). Now, chapter 6 opens with the daughters of Jerusalem asking where the woman’s beloved has gone. Whereas in chapter 5, she seems to not know where he went, now her answer is quite confident: “My beloved has gone down to his garden” (6:2). The tone of her response differs drastically from her frantic search in the previous chapter. And so, she apparently knows where he is now, and she knows where she stands in her relationship with him.

Verse 3 presents one of the most significant themes in the book, “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine” (6:3). Back in chapter 2, the woman said, “My beloved is mine, and I am his” (2:16). Interestingly, now the order is reversed. The emphasis falls on the fact that she has given herself to him before she speaks of him belonging to her. Whether or not the change is intended to mark some growth in their relationship, or her perspective, it nonetheless expresses how she sees their mutual commitment to each other. This major theme of the book can help us see how healthy love is not built merely on asking, “What am I going to get?” but more importantly, “How can I give myself faithfully to the person I love?”

In response, the man begins praising her again, “You are beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah, lovely as Jerusalem, awesome as an army with banners.” (6:4). He compares her beauty to famous cities and a strong army proudly carrying banners. Something that we can note is that the man responds after the situation in chapter 5 when he went to see his beloved and was not greeted at the door with wonderful sentiments of praise and admiration.

It is important to remember, though, that healthy relationships are not free of problems, much less ignore problems. But it does remind us that conflict should not overwrite or erase our affection or desire. It is easy to reduce our opinion of someone to what has frustrated us about them most recently. But love resists that temptation and remembers the whole person and doesn’t neglect to speak what is true, beautiful, and worthy of gratitude, even when our present emotions may not drive us in that direction inherently.

In 6:10, the woman is described in this way: “Who is she who looks forth as the morning, beautiful as the moon, clear as the sun and awesome as an army with banners?” picking back up the militaristic imagery of verse 4. This imagery is striking. The woman is not presented as a fading light to the eyes of the man as something drifting into the background, but as someone whose presence is radiant, illuminating, and commands his full attention.

Lastly in chapter 6, the Hebrew in verse 13 is notoriously difficult, and it is hard to understand what the phrases are meant to conclude from preceding context. But what can be known is that they seem to bridge to chapter 7 where the man continues his elaborate description of his woman’s beauty.

Chapter 7 presents, yet again, several images and metaphors that may sound unusual to modern ears, but the point is as clear as it was previously: the man is delighted in his beloved and struggles to find the words to aptly describe the great love he has for her and how deep his affection is for her.

Then, in the middle of the chapter, the woman replies again with that familiar language from one of the main themes of the book, “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.” (7:10). This statement conveys that her confidence in their relationship is one of strength and security: she knows both that she belongs to him and that she is desired by him. The woman perceives how much she is desired and her beloved’s attitude and affection toward her is not passive but firmly vocalized—she knows that she is wanted by him.

This brings out something important in healthy loving relationships: the ability to rest in another’s faithful and abiding love. The relationship that is filled with tension and conflict, instable, uncertain, and constantly hanging in the balances is one that asks, “Do they still want me? Am I enough? Has something changed? Has their love grown cold?” But a committed, loving relationship seeks to create an environment where those questions never surface. The reassurance, the verbal and non-verbal communication, and the unwillingness to entertain the destructive thoughts or patterns of interacting fortifies the relationship so that it is beyond assault from such nagging questions and self-doubts.

At the end of the chapter, the woman takes initiative by asking her lover, “Come, my beloved, let’s go out into the field. Let’s lodge in the villages” (7:11). Earlier, the man invited her to rise up and come away with him. Now she extends the invitation back to him. Their relationship is reciprocal. She is not simply waiting to be pursued by him; she also pursues him back. It is customary in many cultures for the man to initiate and make the “first move,” but love is not bound by cultural conventions. When two people love each other, it can be a beautiful combination of mutual pursuit where each knows that they are wanted by the other.

And finally, chapter 8 brings the book to a fitting conclusion by emphasizing the strength, exclusivity, and enduring nature of love. The woman says, “Set me as a seal on your heart, as a seal on your arm; for love is strong as death” (8:6). In the ancient world, a seal represented ownership, identity, and a pledge, and so the image of a seal in the context of a relationship communicates the woman’s belongingness, security in the relationship, and the enduring place that she will hold in the heart and life of the one she loves. 

She goes on to say that “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it” (8:7). After all the longing, delight, distance, searching, reunion, and mutual desire that has been described throughout the book, Song of Songs ends by reminding us that genuine love is not fragile or disposable. It cannot be reduced to momentary emotion or physical attraction. Real love is powerful, persistent, and immeasurably valuable—so valuable that “If a man would give all the wealth of his house for love, he would be utterly scorned.” (8:7).

Perhaps that is the best way to bring the message of Song of Songs together. Throughout the book, we have seen love celebrated as something beautiful, passionate, patient, protective, sought after, vulnerable, and committed. The book is a love poem of two people delighting in each other, speaking words of affirmation, enduring moments of disappointment and distance, pursuing reconciliation, and continually reaffirming that they belong to one another. 

Although Song of Songs is primarily a celebration of human romantic love, its language can also remind us of the steadfast love God has shown us. His love is not something we earn or purchase, and it is not extinguished by changing circumstances or fluctuating emotions. We have a God of love who calls for us to respond to Him in love. He has committed Himself to us and is looking to see if we will commit ourselves to Him. Do we desire Him? And are we willing to show Him our true heart?

Reflection Questions

  1. Reread paragraph 4 in today’s devotion. Consider your beloved, or anyone you are close to, but sometimes find yourself in conflict with. What are his/her overall positive characteristics, personality, and actions that have drawn you to this person? It could be helpful to even write them down, print them out. How can you commit to remembering these, and speaking of them, in the next time of conflict.
  2. Particularly for the married: how well do you show committed love and desire to your spouse? What could you do to improve in this area? How might this concept apply (and not apply) to other relationships?
  3. “Do we desire God? And are we willing to show Him our true heart?”

Prayer

Dear God of love and faithfulness, I thank You for not seeing me and treating me as the product of all my failures and flaws. You know them, and You still love me. Help me to love others with the same committed love and mercy.

SGL.2026.CalendarDownload

Healthy Love

Song of Songs 5-6

Psalm 107

Jude

-Devotion by Jerry Wierwille – today’s devotion will be over Song of Songs 4 & 5 since the first day we covered just chapter 1 we are working one chapter behind this week.

Chapters 4 and 5 of the Song of Songs deepen love by showing us the beauty of intimacy and the pain that can emerge when love feels distant. Chapter 4 is filled with admiration, while chapter 5 moves into hesitation, separation, searching, and longing. These chapters remind us that love thrives when it is expressed, protected, and pursued.

Chapter 4 of Song of Songs begins with the man speaking words of admiration and affirmation to the woman he loves (4:1-6). While we may not appreciate the imagery he uses to describe her eyes, hair, smile, lips, and appearance, they are nonetheless very romantic and poetic. And so, some comparisons may sound quite unusual to us, and perhaps even borderline insulting, but his purpose is unmistakable: he is captivated by her beauty and is not hesitant to tell her so in a multi-dimensional way. It seems as though he is drawing attention to every aspect of her that he finds lovely.

When the man concludes with, “You are all beautiful, my darling. There is no spot in you.” (4:7). To have a “spot” is the biblical expression for a flaw. Far from claiming that she is perfect, indeed, flawless in every regard, the man doesn’t see her flaws and dwell upon them or point them out to her; he loves her just the way she is.

There is an important lesson here regarding romantic relationships. Affection should not be presumed as though the other person certainly must understand how we feel. Rather, love must be verbalized and communicated. People need to hear words that build them up and remind them that they are valued. Over time, in any relationship, it can become easy to notice flaws and irritations more quickly than virtues, but healthy love intentionally looks for what is beautiful in the person and then is not ashamed or hesitant to say it out loud.

As the chapter continues, the imagery becomes more intimate. The woman is described as “a garden locked up,” “a locked up spring,” and “a sealed fountain” (4:12). These metaphors communicate that romantic relationships, and particularly sexuality, are something private, exclusive, and precious that is not available to everyone. The woman’s love and sexuality are portrayed as something carefully guarded and reserved, not common or shared with others openly.

As the chapter moves to the end, the imagery shifts to the woman inviting her beloved into the garden: “Let my beloved come into his garden and eat its delicious fruits.” (4:16). The locked garden now becomes an available garden, but by invitation only. They are committed to each other and the desire is mutual. And so, the imagery portrays how love must be welcomed, never forced or pressured.

At the beginning of chapter 5, the man responds to the woman’s invitation with great delight. The imagery points to the abundance of the garden with myrrh, spices, honey, wine, and milk. The poetry is certainly sensual and intimate. And as the chorus celebrates with the chant, “Eat, friends! Drink, yes, drink abundantly, beloved” (5:1b), the mood suddenly changes.

The woman says, “I was asleep, but my heart was awake. (5:2). Her beloved comes to the door and asks to be let in, but she hesitates. She has already taken off her robe and washed her feet. She is already in bed. Getting up would be inconvenient. Her response might sound mundane to our modern ears, but what the woman is conveying is what makes the scene so relatable. The idea being expressed is that love is sometimes interrupted not by betrayal or distrust, but by inconvenience, fatigue, hesitation, or reluctance.

By the time she changes her mind and opens the door, she finds him gone: “I opened to my beloved, but my beloved left and had gone away” (5:6). Suddenly, what seemed inconvenient becomes alarming. Immediately, realizing what she had done, she searches for him, but this time the search is filled with challenges and pain. The watchmen of the city find her, beat her, and take away her cloak (5:7).

Then the representative “daughters of Jerusalem” ask her, “How is your beloved better than another beloved”? What they want to know is what makes her beloved so special. Her answer tells us exactly how she feels. Instead of focusing on her situation, or her longing due to his absence, or her frustration with what has happened, she begins describing everything she admires about him (5:10-16a). And the ending captures her heart perfectly, when she says, “This is my beloved and this is my friend” (5:16).

That last utterance is especially powerful. The woman’s lover is not only the object of her romantic desire; he is also her friend. It entails the truth about deep love; it includes attraction and desire, but is also accompanied by companionship, admiration, and the joy they bring.

We can draw a spiritual lesson from this about our relationship with God. At times, God calls us to draw near, but life has a way of putting things in our way. We become distracted, tired, complacent, or simply slow to react. When we become aware of how we have been responding, we may realize how deeply we miss the nearness we once enjoyed. Yet rather than remaining stuck in regret, we can do what the woman did when she realized she had not responded the way she should have. She got up and began to seek him. And even if there are challenges, and even if there are pain and sacrifice, we must remember what is beautiful about the God we love and why He is worth pursuing.

So, let’s protect love (especially intimacy) as a sacred blessing that we have been entrusted with by God, guarding it and only giving it to the one who should be invited to enjoy it. And in our relationship with God, let’s not allow spiritual complacency to make us slow to answer His invitation to draw near and enjoy the blessing of His presence in our lives.

Reflection Questions

  1. How well do you communicate love and admiration with your words? How can you work towards improving in this area?
  2. How is the world’s view of and guidelines for intimacy different from God’s? What problems are caused by the world’s? How is God’s way best?
  3. What do you often do with regret in human relationships? Do you try to ignore it, letting it grow, or do you actively seek resolution and restoration? What do you often do with spiritual complacency? Do you try to ignore it, letting it grow, or do you actively seek God and His presence in your life? What does seeking God look like and what are the blessings from it?

Prayer

Dear God – I praise and thank You for being a God of love. Thank you for showing us how to love – in Your word, in Your Son’s example, and in Your own love. Help me to verbalize my love to You and to my spouse and others You have graciously put into my life. Help me to see opportunity to love rather than inconvenience. May I be moved by regret to pursue, resolve and restore. May I grow deeper and deeper in love with You and with my beloved and friend.

SGL.2026.CalendarDownload

Protecting and Pursuing

Song of Songs 3-4

Psalm 107

3 John

-Devotion by Jerry Wierwille (NY) – today’s devotion will cover Song of Songs 2-3

Song of Songs chapters 2 and 3 continue the beautiful picture of mutual affection and love that was introduced in the first chapter. The woman and her beloved delight in one another, long for one another’s presence, and speak openly about the joy they find in being together. But these chapters also introduce another dimension of love: love must be protected, patiently received, and sometimes pursued through seasons when the one we desire feels distant.

Chapter 2 opens with the woman describing herself as a “lily of the valley” (2:1), which seems as though she is comparing herself to a rather ordinary flower that grows abundantly in the countryside in Israel. But that is exactly why the man’s response (i.e., her lover) is so meaningful. She may see herself as simply one flower among many, while he sees her as exquisite and incomparable. She is “a lily among the bramble” (2:2).

Moreover, she reciprocates with a description about the uniqueness and blessings of her lover by comparing him to “an apple tree among the trees of the forest” (2:3).  and affirms that she delights to sit “in his shade” (2:3). This imagery communicates how she feels safe and refreshed in his presence. And then comes one of the most memorable statements in the book: “His banner over me is love” (2:4). His love is not something she hopes for or tries to earn but is the atmosphere surrounding her and is what is made known to her—she knows herself to be loved.

A few verses later, the beloved calls to her: “Rise up, my darling, my beautiful one, and come away.” (2:10). Winter has passed, spring flowers are appearing, and the season of singing has arrived. The imagery in this section is full of vibrancy, freshness, and new life. His love invites her out of hiding and into shared joy for something wonderful is developing in their relationship—“our vineyards are in bloom” (2:15).

Yet right alongside this excitement comes a repeated warning: Do “not stir up nor awaken love until it so desires.” (2:7). Song of Songs celebrates romantic desire, but it does not treat this desire carelessly or purely sensually. Love is powerful, and because it is so powerful, we must take care not to be manipulated or rushed into it. There is a proper time for love to awaken and a proper way for it to be expressed. But too often we are caught up on love and fall prey to the adage, “Love is blind.”

There is an interesting and difficult passage in chapter 2 that uses a striking image to teach an important lesson: “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards” (2:15). The image suggests that a vineyard may be flourishing, but little creatures (like foxes) can quietly damage what is growing. Relationships are often harmed in the same way. It is not always one enormous betrayal that shatters a relationship and breaks trust. Sometimes it is the accumulation of a bunch of small actions, such as perhaps a few too many times of neglect, some residual resentment, foolish words repeatedly spoken, too much secrecy, the presence of selfishness, or unresolved hurts and wounds. Love is something to enjoy, but also something to carefully guard and protect.

At the climax of chapter 2 is the woman’s declaration, “My beloved is mine, and I am his.” (2:16). This language of being “someone’s” is not possessive or controlling but rather is the product of mutual commitment. Love creates a place where both people can say, in effect, “I give myself to you, and I receive you with joy.” The woman and her beloved are sharing this belongingness to each other as an expression of their true love.

When entering chapter 3, it is apparent that the mood has shifted. During the night, the woman searches for the one she loves and cannot find him. She gets up, walks through the city, asks the watchmen if they have seen him, and continues searching until at last she finds him, and she says, “I held him and would not let him go” (3:4).

There is something very relatable about what is described in this scene. When we love someone, their absence can feel like an enormous hole—a vacuum that nothing can fill. What once felt secure and steadfast can suddenly feel uncertain, and our longing can quickly turn into restlessness. But the woman does not respond to her anxious thoughts with fears and inner turmoil. Instead, she goes and searches diligently until she finds him.

Although Song of Songs is primarily celebrating human romantic love, this scene can also remind us of our relationship with God. There are times when God’s presence feels close and very perceivable, like the break from the sun when sitting in the shade of tree or spring blossoms and flower blooms in spring. But there are other times when our prayers may feel dry, less connected. Maybe reading Scripture feels less insightful, more rote and mechanical, and God seems strangely distant. Those experiences do not mean that He has abandoned us, but they can expose how deeply we desire His presence—the peace and comfort only He can give.

The woman’s intense searching can challenge us in those seasons. Instead of responding to a time of spiritual “dryness” with fear and worry, we can get up and seek Him. We can continue to pray even when prayer feels difficult; we can devote ourselves to Scripture even when reading seems to lack emotion and delight; we can keep meeting with God’s people and continue to serve; and we can refuse to let a temporary feeling of distance rewrite what God has already told us about His faithfulness and nearness to us.

Chapters 2 and 3 remind us that healthy love has elements of both delight and caution. It rejoices in the presence of the one we love, respects proper timing, protects what is precious, and continues to pursue even in times when we might feel disconnected or frustrated in moments of longing. Therefore, let’s receive the love God has given us with gratitude, protect the relationships He has entrusted to us, and keep seeking Him even when we do not immediately feel what we wish we did. His love is faithful, and so let’s be faithful in loving Him back.

Reflection Questions

  1. What specific “little foxes” (including those of your own making) have the power of sneaking in to spoil your love relationships (both with a spouse, and/or with God)? What can you do to protect your love relationship(s) from each of these “little foxes”?
  2. What do you think it means to, “not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (or various other translations, as seen in 3:5)? How many times does Solomon repeat this phrase? What is the danger in not following this advice?
  3. What is your common response when your love (spouse and/or God) feels difficult or distant? What would seeking look like in your case? Have you been through a dry spell that then revived? What do you think helped?

Prayer

Dear God, You are a great lover of me. Thank You for faithfully loving me. I confess the times I have allowed little foxes to eat away at my devotion to You, and times when I am more distant from You, often due to distractions I have allowed. Help me protect and pursue our love – with time, desire, effort, and a full heart. Thank you, too, for the gift of loved ones You have given. Help me to protect and pursue those relationships – particularly that of my spouse (as it applies) – what a wonderful plan for marriage and family You have created for me to honor, enjoy, protect and pursue. Help me be the spouse You want me to be.

SGL.2026.CalendarDownloads