
Ephesians 4-6
Devotion by Jenn Haynes (OH)
Relationships are tricky things. They are a blessing to us, and yet they don’t come without thorns. God decided in the very beginning that we weren’t to be alone. We were created to be with others. The final three chapters of Ephesians center around how to be in relationships. From the bond found in church bodies and friendships,to slave/servant and master, to children and parents, to husband and wife, we see a wide array of relationships. And they all start in the same place: unity in Christ.
What a tricky thing to do, being one in spirit and purpose when we aren’t always one in mind. For example, you could look at the political atmosphere in our country. I know Christians who are Democrat, and Christians who are Republican, and a vast array in between or beyond. They are definitely not of one mind, though I like to believe that most are of one spirit: they want our country to be a good, safe place to live. We just all have a different ideas of how that should happen, and we prioritize different ideals, right?
The same goes in every relationship. In churches, I rarely see a lack of peace because someone desperately WANTS to go against Christ and destroy his church. Usually I just see different groups of people with different priorities and different ideas of how things should be done. One in spirit, but not one in mind. This holds true in every relationship. No matter how united we are in our goal, we will find differences that lead to conflict.
So how do we handle relationships when we differ in mind? Paul gives us a lot of advice here, so I’ll list some highlights:
1. Be humble, gentle, and patient in love. Show humility by admitting that maybe your way doesn’t have to be THE way. And of course be gentle and patient when you are disagreeing.
2. Seek God in determining your place in the body of Christ, as well as in your relationships. Many times our conflicts occur because we have stepped away from where God wants us.
3. Deal with your anger in a Godly way. Don’t let it take root and stew in your bitterness. Evaluate what you’re actually angry about. Is it righteous anger? Is this anger God would have in the same situation, or is this YOUR anger – anger that things aren’t going the way YOU want them to. If it’s Godly anger, then you need to speak up in truth. If it’s your anger, then you need to stop letting it get in the way of the work God wants to do in you and through you.
4. No unwholesome talk. This means you DON’T put others down. You don’t gossip, and you don’t say hurtful things about those who are one with you in the body of Christ. You don’t put down your children, you don’t put down your spouse, you don’t put down your friends, and you don’t put down your church body. You can’t be unified in mind and purpose if your speech is keeping you apart.
5. Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. That verse is so important to good relationships that I put it to song and had my children memorize it when they were small. God forgave you for all your stupid, stupid mistakes, sins and words. So forgive others for theirs.
6. Do not wait for others to follow Paul’s advice here. It starts with you. Paul didn’t say this, but we see it in every example of a good disciple. You can’t control others’ actions and emotions. But you can control yours. And good disciples take the first steps and live as an example to others.
Paul goes on in the rest of Ephesians with more good advice, specifically pertaining to certain relationships. But these foundations he lays out in chapter four pave the way. You are called to be united in Christ. So it’s time for a relationship inventory.
Reflection Questions:
First, are you united in spirit in this relationship? (As in, do you have the same goal, and is that goal Godly?) If you aren’t, then maybe it’s time to place some safety distance in that relationship so that it doesn’t affect the work God would like to do in your life. If you ARE united in spirit, you can move on to further analysis.
If you’re united in Spirit, are you currently not united in mind about an issue?
Are there negative feelings attached to that issue? Are you angry, bitter, hurt, jealous, anxious, or something similar? You need to find out the root cause. Do those feelings stem from something that is ungodly, or do they come from a more personal place? If you look at it hard enough, is this really just a difference of opinion, or is this an issue of righteousness? Most of the time, it’s a difference of opinion. If that’s the case, it’s time to start looking at Paul’s suggestions there in chapter 4. Most of all, show love. Rather than saying, “I’m angry at this person because of….” start actively saying, “I love this person because…” and you will see a radical shift in your relationships with others. Even if you have to start small with, “I love this person because God told me to.” Doing what God asks is a wonderful place to start.
Prayer Thoughts:
My prayer for you today is that you read through these passages and really try to apply them to your relationships. I pray that you are able to recognize a difference of opinion for what it is – a difference in how your beautiful brains think, not a reason to be angry and distrustful. I pray that you find unity in spirit and unity in mind in your relationships. I pray that when you don’t find that unity, you step up and be a good disciple by making the first move toward togetherness. I pray that you love and forgive others as Christ forgave you.









