Tag: sex

Chapters of Love

Song of Solomon 1-4

This collection of songs is something that, sadly, is frequently misunderstood and avoided today. At a wedding we celebrate love, yes, but certainly not like this. The beautiful imagery described in these chapters of love, desire and passion are everything we should want in a relationship with our spouse. Unfortunately, discussions of sexual desire and attraction like this are usually either twisted by an immoral society, or avoided by Christians. The world has thrown sex around until it’s dirty, misused, and undervalued. And Christian religion has gone in the complete opposite direction and has made it into something secret and almost shameful. We feel embarrassment.

But desire is not shameful at all when it is within its perfect time and place. Amidst all of this expression of love, there is one important phrase repeated again and again. 

“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

There is no rushing here. When we want to be in a relationship or long to fill our sexual desires more than we long for God’s good and perfect plan, this is when everything falls apart. The imagery stops being intimate and beautiful. It becomes cheap and our relationship is no longer the reflection of God’s love for us that it should be. 

But when we acknowledge God first and seek him for our fulfillment, we restore the proper order of things. God created man and everything was good. Adam had God and relied on him completely. And in that complete reliance, God provided the perfect partner. 

God knows our needs far better than we do, and that includes our need for relationships and intimacy. When we seek him first before seeking fulfillment in others, God will provide in his own perfect timing. 

I hope you see the beauty reflected in these chapters! Love and desire within God’s plan is a treasure to be appreciated. 

-Jenn Haynes

Reflection Questions: 

For those who are unmarried: Do you find yourself growing impatient? Are you seeking fulfillment from people rather than God? How can you turn your focus more on your relationship with God and rely more fully on him? 

For those who married: Maybe you’re a newlywed, or you’ve been married for years, or you’re widowed. Take some time to reflect on your love. Read through the descriptions and think about your own beloved. What do you appreciate about your spouse? How did God provide for you by bringing you together? How does your relationship reflect the relationship God desires to have with you? 

My prayer for you today is that you see beauty in this passage. I pray you seek intimacy with God first, and that you rely on him fully. And for those who are/were married, I pray you are able to reflect and appreciate all of the wonderful qualities of your spouse. 

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God Made Them Male and Female

*New Testament Reading:  Mark 10

Psalms Reading:  79

Old Testament Reading:  Isaiah 41-42 

The Pharisees ask Jesus about divorce to test him.  Rather than just answer their question, Jesus directs them to God’s original design for marriage…vs 6- 9 “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” There are several days’ worth of material in just that short passage.

Today, however, I want to focus on the phrase “God made them male and female”.   This is a quote from Genesis 1:27, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”   Psalm 139:13-16 says of God, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb….My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths …”.  Malachi 3:6a tells us, “For I the Lord do not change…”

When you put these thoughts together, you can see that God designed each one of us.  Individually, specifically, intentionally, purposefully.  He chose YOUR personality, eye color, height, if you like spicy foods or not, how you will process good and bad news, what will motivate you, and what sex/gender you are.  We can color our hair or learn to like certain foods, but we cannot change what we are at the core of who God made us to be.  HE CHOSE your gender.  HE CHOSE your gender because HE WANTED YOU.

How we bring glory to God is to be the best version we can of who He made us to be.  There are lots of gray areas up for interpretation in the Bible.  However, God is very black and white on the issue of gender.  He created them male and female.  That’s it.  No other options. 

Since that was so short, I feel like I have space to tackle one more piece from today’s reading.  Let’s look at God’s view of marriage and sex (another area where God is very black and white in His design).  In Mark 10 we read, ”…and the two shall become one flesh.  So they are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”   God’s plan and desire for marriage is that one man and one woman get married and stay married until death separates them (yes, there are a few specific exceptions to this, and I’m not digging into that here, but please talk to your pastor or an elder or trusted godly person if you have questions on this.).  God’s plan for sex is that it is a wonderful gift for pleasure and for procreation, only to be experienced within the boundaries of marriage as stated above.

The world today says that anything goes.  The Bible says differently.  It matters to God what we do with our bodies.  If you have already stepped outside of the boundaries that God has set for His children, know that He will forgive you and that He will remove your sin from you as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).  You need only ask Him.  I know because I was there.  He will not only forgive you, but help you to forgive yourself, too.

I will leave you with 1 Corinthians 6:18-20.  “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.  Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

Amy Blanchard

Reflection Questions

  1. Your body becomes a temple of the Holy Spirit when you choose to follow God’s plan for salvation.  In short, it is belief, repentance, baptism.  If you have not made that commitment, please consider speaking to someone who can help guide you there.  Are you treating your body as God’s temple?  If not, why not?
  2. Repentance is an acknowledgement that what we did was wrong and a turning away from that action, attitude, inaction, etc.  Since we all sin, we all need to repent.  Is there anything in your life that you need to repent of today? 
  3. It is a struggle to go against what the world is telling you is good.  God expects us to stand firm in our knowledge of His design.  What else did these passages reveal to you about God’s character?
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A Love Poem

Song of Solomon 2

Friday, July 22, 2022

Song of Solomon contains poetry written by Solomon.  Some people try to spiritualize it, suggesting it describes the relationship between God and a follower of God.  Those who think that have obviously not read it.  Song of Solomon describes the intimate relationship between a husband and a wife, sometimes a little graphically.  If you’ve never read the Bible before, the Song of Solomon just might pique your interest.  I’ll share a few verses from chapter 2.

SoS 2:2 says, “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.”  Husbands and future husbands take note.  Highlight what you appreciate about your wife, and make sure she knows it well and often. But the praise must be sincere.  And if it’s appropriate and if she would appreciate it, make sure you extend this praise publicly.  But don’t just stop with praise.  Treat her like she is precious because she is.

SoS 2:4 contains part of the wife’s response, “His banner over me is love.”  All by itself, this sounds pretty weird.  I think this is saying that her husband is publicly proclaiming his love for her – sort of like writing it on a flag, and waving it around for everyone to see.  He is not ashamed to acknowledge her publicly.  Again, husbands take note.

In SoS 2:6, the wife goes on to say, “His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.”  I’ll leave it to your imagination to consider their position and presumed activity.  Husband’s again take note.  If you shower your wife with love.  If you make her a priority, and she knows it.  If she knows you’re never ashamed of having her at your side.  Things will go a lot better with your love life.

She goes on to say in SoS 2:7, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”  I would say that differently.  I would say “save sex for marriage” – and then, it is a wonderful blessing from God for both husband and wife to enjoy to the fullest together.

In his reply, in SoS 2:15, the husband says, “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom”.  I think the idea here is that there are always little things that can attack the relationship, and these things need to be caught and stopped.  Some examples may include selfishness, pride, never admitting that you are wrong, finding fault, unforgiveness, mistrust, etc.  All of these have to be dealt with and removed in order for the love to blossom and flourish.

In SoS 2:16-17, the wife says, “My lover is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies.  Until the day breaks and the shadows flee…”.  She is talking about how exclusive the marriage relationship must be.  (Unfortunately, Solomon didn’t do very well in this regard.  Maybe she should have said, “my lover is mine, and I am his and a thousand other women are his.”  Can you imagine how that would make your wife feel – if this wasn’t an exclusive relationship?  Husbands, again take note.

And you have to love that part in verse 17 where she says, “until the day breaks and the shadows flee…”.  It sounds like she is talking about being intimate all night long.  So, husbands, if you want verse 17, you have to have to practice verses 2 and 4 and 7 and 15.  In other words, if you want a great sex life in your marriage, adore your wife.  Let that show in everything you do and in every way you treat her, and you will see results.

Oh yeah, and do the same with your relationship with God, and you’ll see great results there too – both now and forever.

–Steve Mattison

Application Questions

  1. If you aren’t married yet – what is the greatest take-away you found in Song of Solomon 2?
  2. If you are married – what is the greatest take-away you found in Song of Solomon 2?
  3. Why do you think God included Song of Solomon in the Bible?
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Worship God with your Body

Col 3 5a

Free Theme Week: Worship

Chapter reading for the day: Colossians 3

There is a particular “truth” that is extremely pervasive in our culture, the news, social media, etc. This “truth” is that you are the sole determiner in what you decide to do with your body and that no one else has the right to tell you what you can or can’t do with it. If you want to tattoo your whole body do it. If you want to fill your body with botox and recreate your image through plastic surgery have at it. If a woman wants to get an abortion, how dare anyone tell her she cannot. If you want to sleep around with different people in the name of finding yourself and wanting non-committal sex, more power to you. We are bombarded with messages everyday about how the individual is the authority of their body. There’s a problem though; this is a lie.

The truth is that humans are not the sole authority over their bodies, God is. The reason he is the authority is because he is the creator of our bodies (Psalm 139) and as disciples of Jesus we are to honor and glorify God and Jesus in our body. We are to subject our bodies to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and use our body for the glory of God and Jesus. Now there are many ways we can do this but for today we will look at two ways in which we can worship God in our body.

  1. Food
  2.   Sex

Food is a particular problem in America. We can eat food whenever we want and eat however much we like. The problem with this is that many Christians, along with Americans, are overweight and unhealthy. God created food to be good and for us to enjoy. The problem is when we indulge too much in food and we hurt our bodies with disease and premature death. The Bible warns against gluttony (Prov. 23.21, Philippians 3.19). When our bodies are slowed down by being overweight, too tired, and fighting disease the ministry God has given us is hindered. The remedy to being in control of food and honoring God with your body is self-control. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit (Gal. 5.22-23). Let us pursue self-control when it comes to eating. Let us pursue self-control when it comes to the quantity and quality of the food we eat. When we do this we honor and love God with our body. Your body is for more than just to take pleasure in food it is to worship God and minister to others.

A second way to love and honor God with our body is to obey God in his design of sex. Again God created sex to be good but only within the parameters that he set up. These parameters are the marriage union between a husband and wife. Whether you are married or single, any person can use sex outside of God’s will. Instead of listing activities that fall outside of God’s design for sex, I’ll speak positively to God’s will for sex. It really only comes down to two things:

  1. A husband and wife are to be sexually fidelitous
  2. A single person is to be abstinent in their body and mind until marriage

God states plainly in I Thessalonians 4.3, that his will for his people is to abstain from sexual immorality. Participating in sex the right way results in us loving and worshipping God with our body. As Paul states in his letter to the Corinthians:

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy spirit which is in you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body” – I Corinthians 6.19-20

-Jacob Rohrer

 

The Other Person

FRIDAY

1 thessalonians 4_6 wood

1Th. 4:6 that no one wrong or exploit a brother or sister in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, just as we have already told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.

 

We noted that Paul’s first instruction on morality was external, the second internal, i.e., what were you taught, then what is good for you. This third guideline for moral behavior is again outside of us, i.e., how am I treating the other person?

 

When I first went into youth ministry, almost 40 years ago, a study asked young people why they first had sex. The number one reason for girls was love, for guys was curiosity. The only thing that has changed over the years is that now the girls also are acting out of curiosity. As Bob Seger sang in the classic rock hit, Night Moves, “I used her, she used me, neither one cared. We were getting our share.”

 

As Christians, can we use another person for our personal sexual gratification? What impact does our action have on the other person?

 

Sometimes I think this is a special issue for Christians. Maybe worldly people can see former sexual partners as just passing acquaintances with whom they had a good time, but can it be that simplistic for Christians? Don’t we as Christians think of sex as more than a good time? It is a gift that God has given us to share with our life partner. We might think our romance is going to lead to marriage, but what if it doesn’t?

 

What does it mean to respect others in regard to our moral decisions?

 

-Greg Demmitt